Roxy and I

We so go together....I love her. I rode to my parent house (about 4 or so miles) tonight and loved every second of it. Why 'o' why did I not do this earlier. Emmy nicely took some pictures for me but I loved the video she took on accident the best so I posted it below. Notice the hat Charlotte. Heck yeah! 

Hike #1

I think Maddie and I are in a fight...she is so out of shape. (All my fault of course. ) My poor baby.

Introducing Roxy Cleopatra

This is what I have wanted since Tour de Fat 2006. Isn't she pretty? Emmy came up with the first name, Roxy, and I went with Cleopatra as the second because she was one of the greatest comebacks of all time. Roxy is perfect for me because the person I bought it from purchased it 3 years ago, the same amount of time I have wanted one, and had only ridden her 5 times so this purchase is indeed a comeback. The virgin voyage takes place tonight. 

View from my hotel window

One Thing After Another

The last couple of weeks has been one thing after another after another. Instead of pushing myself to the breaking point, like I normally do, I gave up my MiE time for a little. Let me tell you though...I am missing it. I am happy to say that my brother and SIL are now all moved up to Phoenix and nothing makes me happier. It also helps that they have 2 of the cutest kids in the whole universe. I know you may think I am biased but trust me...they are. 

The rest of this week will be spent in a perpetual Bikram Yoga class. I am currently sitting in the airport terminal waiting for my plane to Kansas City, MO. Should be a couple fun days of sweltering heat. It is 95+ degrees with 70+% humidity. My hair is going to look terrifying plus did you know it is tornado season? Who has a meeting in Kansas City in the middle of tornado season? We have offices all over the country. How about San Diego for a couple days? Doesn't that sound nice? You win some and you lose some I guess. It should be a great couple of days getting work done though. I still have my list a mile long to get through. The problem with that list is the more I cross off the more I add to it. I guess that is something I should be happy about so...YEAH! 

Anywho, for all you MiE girls just know that I am currently jealous that you get to dance the next couple of days away as I sweat my butt off. (Hey! Maybe that won't be such a bad thing after all) 

Fear is Crippling

You block your dreams when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

Fear is faith that it won't work out. ~Sister Mary Tricky

Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

These are so my quotes right now. I am afraid. So many great things are taking shape in my life and it freaks me out. What if I don’t measure up? What if it isn’t what I expect it will be? What if I can’t do it? What if no one takes me serious? What if? What if? What if?

It is dragging me down. I can’t be afraid anymore because when I am afraid I do nothing. Too many things are happening right that I can't ignore it anymore. I admitted my fear in my Tuesday night group and 2 of the girls offered to be my business accountability partners. That means that every now and then they check up on me to see if I am actually working. I wish I could be accountable to myself by I can’t. (Not yet anyway).

I finally wrote my list too. I wrote down EVERYTHING that is on my plate right now and what priority they were. It was exciting and daunting at the same time. *Side Note* Did you know that Google has a document center? I didn’t until yesterday and believe me it is freaking fantastic! You can create web based documents and share them with other people. They work pretty much like Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. It also has this super cool feature that lets you create forms that you can email to people to complete. I am officially in love. *End Side Note*

What fear is holding you back?

Public Declaration #3 Update

It is amazing how if you make a conscious effort everyday to do something that it eventually turns into a habit. I say yeah to that because my house looks awesome!

Misc Ramblings

So I went for over 3 weeks without having any grain. It was super difficult at first and then the longer I went the better I felt. It was weird. I used to get super antsy. I’d constantly wring my hands and that pretty much went away. I didn’t think too much about it until Friday when I ate a bagel and let me tell you, I felt like crap. I didn’t think it would be a big deal but my body thought otherwise. I then had some cake on Saturday and again, instant discomfort. I think there is a bit more going on with my body for me to have that kind of a reaction. I am still not feeling right.

I also just feel mentally not off. I am in this space where I know what I want but I am getting there slowly. I had such an emotional high going that when I came back down to Earth I expected everything to be different. Funny thing though…it wasn’t. Everything was the exact same it had been the day before minus the extreme excitement. Don’t get me wrong…I am still excited but now the reality of turning the excitement and ideas into actually happening is a completely different story. Patience is not one of my virtues. When I want something to happen I want it to happen RIGHT NOW. Maybe this is an exercise of making me patient. If so…boo!…I want it to happen right now!

As far as Moonlight Graphic Design goes, I am working on my logo but it is taking me a bit longer then I thought it would. I want to make sure it is right so no rushing. It does frustrate me a bit because I can’t work on my website or business card until the logo is complete. The logo sets the tone for everything else. I have a few other projects that I am working on that give me some variety and get me out of the Moonlight rut. I will post about them as they are completed.

The hardest part of it all is I am a night time designer. When I was in college my friends, Jen and Austin, and I would be up until 2, 3, or 4 in the morning working. That was just fine because I would sleep until 10 or 11. Staying up like that now is not conducive to my day job. I have to be up at 6 in the morning and for example, I was up designing until midnight last night and I feel horrible today. I am so tired but the designs are awesome.

Side note, if anyone is looking for a comfortable challenge tonight you should join me for the Pilat-MiEz class at 6:45pm. It is so relaxing and the gal who teaches it is awesome.

Public Declaration #4 - Part 2

My sad video. I only got in 1 with correct form and depth....so sad...

Balance

Why is it that creating balance within your life is so difficult? I was reflecting on these last couple months and the difference in what I have been spending my time on is huge. When I first started at Express MiE it was an internal struggle to get there. It’s not that I didn’t have fun it was that I battled with feelings that I every time I went I was being selfish. That I was just concerned about myself and my wellbeing. I still went because it is one of the only things that made me feel good.

As things started to get progressively worse with my husband I then swung the other direction and took on the attitude of “I don’t give a damn.” I stopped trying to meet any of his needs and focused strictly on myself. I think a part of that was I had a miscarriage (it’s all good). He didn’t want to talk about it. I felt abandoned. Instead of being an adult and talking about my feelings, I withdrew. I caught him drinking again and again and again.

When I left I did it because there was nothing left to do. What I found was that all that was left of me was an angry, depressed, hurt mess. I continued on at the dance studio because it became a need. I went a lot. I didn’t really do anything else besides church and Bible study. I didn’t spend any time with my family and no time with my friends. That is not balance.

I then had this realization that I was a flake. I agreed to do stuff all the time and never followed through. That was a breaking point for me. When you start writing down everything you need to do it is amazing what you find out about yourself. You start to notice where you spend all your time. You notice how little you do for others. You notice how often you agree to do things and you notice how much you used to let people down. You notice that you are not making any kind of an impact in anyone else’s life. You then realize that living like that is not longer enough.

I wanted more. I want people to want to be around me because I am a positive, uplifting person not because we happened to be in the same room at the same time. When I die I want people to notice. In order for that to happen I had to get up and do something. I am still at the very beginning of that journey but when I look back at the update pictures of me 8 and 16 weeks ago what I see is a completely different person. I can’t wait to see what the next 8, 16, 32, 64, etc… weeks bring.

Looking at the things now filling my life makes me happy. My husband and I are entering counseling and beginning The Great DatExperiment (thanks for the idea April and I would love it if some other people did it too so we could talk about it). I am spending conscious time with my family. My mom and I are making “dates” to hang with each other. My sister and I talk more. My sister in law in moving up and if it is up to me we will spend a lot of time together. I am developing real friendships. I now have several people (outside my family) that I feel like I could call day or night and they would be there. I am getting to know myself and let me tell you, the version I am seeing now is a world better then the one I remember from the beginning of this year. I remembered how much I love to design and I am starting to do that again. I love making people feel good about themselves and Mary Kay helps me do that. I am working extremely hard to not let one of those elements dominate my life. Balance needs practice.

It is hard for me to grasp that this has all happened within 5 months.

Dear Women,

I was talking to my SIL last night and I realized something sad. There are so many demands put on women every minute of every day and so often we forget our own worth. I think that is where we as women step in to become the encouragement that each one of us so desperately needs.

After I got off the phone I couldn’t stop thinking about this concept. This is the whole reason I am writing this blog to begin with so other women realize that they are not alone in their struggles through life. This started as a weight loss journey but I feel as though it has turned into so much more for me. That being said, I prayed about it and an idea started to form in my head. What if I were to write a letter to every woman in my life who has inspired me and give it to them? What if I were to also include a blank letter so that women could then fill it out and give to a women that inspired her? Just off the top of my head there are like 30 women who have inspired me and multiply that by 2 would mean that 60 women were to be encouraged. Hum…I like that thought.

So…I wrote a letter template. It is a very basic template with lost of space for writing. I like the idea of a handwritten letter because I, personally, keep that kind of thing. An email is nice but nothing beats a handwritten letter. My goal is to get all of my letters written and handed out or mailed by tomorrow afternoon. I attached the letter in case you would like to do the same. If this seems crazy then feel free to skip over this post and pretend I never wrote it.

Happy thoughts to all,
Kathy

P.S. If you can't get the picture to print correctly please email me and I will forward you a PDF, itsallaboutmie@gmail.com

Public Declaration #4

What a killer weekend! I woke up yesterday sore from the ends of my hair to tips of my toes. I did the GI Jane class on Friday night and WOW! Josefa pushed us so hard and did some new exercises. It felt great to get pushed like that. Then Saturday I had one of Express MiE’s 2 hour classes. I had so much fun. It was also a very active class and then my mom met me for the Hula Hoop class. I didn’t think it would be so hard but Yowza! I looked (and felt) like I got the crap beat out of me. I didn’t realize the hoop would leave a mark (see picture above). Rest assured that it goes away after like an hour. That class was so hard. My mom did so much better then I did. I was so proud I wanted to scream “that’s my mom!” Anywho, it was one of the best ab work outs I have ever done. My entire abs (top and bottom) are still sore from it. I will definitely be doing that class again.

It is now time for another public declaration. I hate doing girl pushups…you know the ones…where you have your knees down. I don’t know why it bothers me so much that I can’t do the regular kind but it does. I have now set a goal to get to the point where I can crank out 10 regular pushups. Weird goal…I know…but I still want to be able to do it. Keep an eye out for a post with a video in the next couple of days. I am going to tape my attempts. The first one should be quite depressing/embarrassing but it will only push me to try harder so I can post a video ASAP of me accomplishing my goal. Keep checking back!

Burlesque...Uh...I mean Peep?

On Friday night I went to a show that I thought was a burlesque show that ended up being a peep show. I know I was told the name of it but somehow it didn’t register in my brain. It was at the Trunk Space in downtown Phoenix and that place is DIR-TY. I had to use the bathroom and it was one of those “is it worse or better if I wash my hands” kind of places. I took a picture so you could understand. What was the worst part was there were like 6 chairs in the whole place. Six! We had to sit on the floor. I definitely was not prepared for it. I was in some really great heels and some pants not meant for sitting cross legged. The coolest part of the whole show was the gal that ate fire. I have never seen it done in person and it was amazing. She was quite talented. Earlier in the show she did hammer a nail like 4 inches long into her nose. Not gonna lie…I could have totally done without that.

Their costumes and make-up were amazing. I love the pin-up look. I know Express MiE is hosting a them doing pin up "look" training class once a month and I am planning on doing it in August. I have my idea for my Halloween costume this year. It was such a blast to go with the girls I was with.

Upon entrance they stamped our arms and I really liked the look of it. If it wasn't for the fact that the inside of your arm is such a visual place I think would get a tattoo there.

Why I love AZ

Nothing beats an AZ sunset.

Comparison

Update Pictures!

Blanche Cracks Me Up

I got home from the studio tonight and I caught my tortoise chilling like this.

The Good and the Awkward

I went to my first MK meeting last night and my director talked about the importance of filling in your eyebrows with a pencil or eyeshadow and the importance of wearing lipstick. Here are 2 secrets about me. 1 - I have REALLY small lips (that part is not a secret) but I hate to put anything on them because all I can think about is how small they are and how everyone in I interact with is thinking about how small they are. The reality is they probably look even smaller with nothing on them but I just can't get past it. I thought about getting my lips done but found out that is costs like $500 and only lasts for 6 months. Uhhh...can't I get permanent lip enhancement like some women get... 2 - I have NEVER put anything on my eyebrows...ever. I always think that I would look like the women that shave them off and then draw them back on, like my grandma did, and I don't want to look like that. Anywho, this morning I decided to do both...lipstick and an eyebrow touch up. Not sure how I feel about the lipstick yet. I may start with lip gloss instead. I am digging the eyebrows though.























I have SOME fantastic news! I am wearing jeans that I have not fit in almost 2 years! I also wore some work capri's yesterday that I hadn't worn in a little over 2 years. WAhoo! I took a picture the best I could. I am beyond stoked about it!

Positive Thinking

I attended the Express MiE workshop last Thursday night and was surprised at how much I got out of it. Melissa, a life coach, was the instructor and she presented an idea that was so simple yet can make the world of difference in your life. It is the concept of changing your should's and have to's to wants or just don't do it. She had us write out of list of 10 things we HAD TO do over the next week and then rank them from 10 to -10 depending on how much we did or did not want to do them. She then asked for people to volunteer things they had written down and what they ranked them. As people shared she helped them come up with ideas on how to improve the number even if it was taking it from a -10 to a -9.

Another part of it is no longer saying you should or have to do something because the reality is you always have a choice. I don't have to go to work but I like the end result of the paycheck so I go. It is nice to realize that you really do have a choice everyday whether or not you do anything.

*Side Note* I now CONSTANTLY notice how often people say they should or have to do anything. I bet you will start noticing it too.

Brand New Day!

My small group is reading this book called The Intentional Woman. I thought it was going to be a little fluffy (aka. dumb) when we started it. I still planned on doing it so I had something to contribute to the group but I didn’t think anything magical would come of it. Boy was I wrong! In the first step they have you rank 8 areas of your life, 10 being highest/best and 1 being lowest/worst. Each section was separate so I could have had all 5’s if I wanted to. I was so surprised when I ranked my work life lower then my relationship/marriage (if you have been following this blog you can probably understand why). All I could think was “Really?!” The questions that followed helped me focus my thoughts. I want more. So much has happened since Monday.

First, I decided on and bought a URL for my portfolio. I have a degree in Graphic Design but hardly ever use it. That is changing now. I am calling it Moonlight Graphic Design (www.moonlightgraphicdesign.net). It is not up and running yet but my plan is for it to be by the end of next week. I started on the logo which is going to be rad! I am so stoked! I love to design. It makes me feel whole. I already have a line of things to work on, 4 websites besides my own to be exact. Business cards should be done by this weekend.

Second, I am going to start doing Mary Kay again...for fun. I did it for a while in college and loved it but my school schedule took over and I stopped. I love the feeling of making someone feel beautiful. I know it changed my outlook on myself when I started using it 5 or so years ago. My main focus is going to be wedding parties or women who just want a change. It is a bonus that all I use in Mary Kay so I really believe in the product. If you are interested in trying it drop me a line or check out my website. http://www.marykay.com/kathy.conlon or kathy.conlon@marykay.com.

Third, my sister in law and I have talked about starting a small business for a long time and we finally decided on a name and bought a URL. I am not unveiling that name and idea yet but I will…I promise.

I feel so motivated and driven. I haven’t felt like this in a loooooooooooooooong time. I feel like everything is just falling together. It is just plain working. There were certain things that I was worried about working out that have just fallen into place. I have now reached that scared stage where I am afraid the bubble is going to burst but I have to keep believing. God will provide the path.

I am also so excited about my health. I am dropping clothe sizes and getting ready to dip below a number I haven’t seen in over 3 years. 3 YEARS! How exciting is that! I changed up my schedule a bit this 6 week rotation. I posted my schedule below:

Monday – Pilat-MiEz
Tuesday – Zumba or Burlesque (Alternating)
Wednesday – Have a Ball (though not tonight)
Thursday – Rest (Take dog to the park for a BIG day of playing)
Friday – GI Jane
Saturday – Zumba or Hula Hoop
Sunday – Rest

I feel like a completely different person than I did a few months ago. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror sometimes. Internal monologue: “Who is that skinny looking, hot girl in the mirror? Oh wait…I think it’s me! Boo Yeah Grandma!” (That last one was for you Emmy)

The one thing I need to be cautious of is doing too much too fast. I need to pace myself or I will burn out. That is was I normally do to myself. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Crash. I need to learn how to balance so I can be successful long-term not just in spurts.

Quote of the day – Motivation is what gets you started…Habit is what keeps you going.

Happy Day! Kathy

Almost Made It...Almost...

I was SO close to being under $50. I went over by $1.50. I bought a couple unplanned things and didn't buy a couple planned things. The fact that I had to write about it definately made me think about the purchases I made. It stopped me from buying even more things as I walked through the store. I realized that I am like a small child when I shop...."Oooo! That looks good! Maybe I should buy 5" but there is no mom to tell me "no". I attached my receipts so you can see that I am not lying. This was a challenge but pretty fun. I will most certainly be doing this again. Ciao!

The Great Purge is Complete...Sort of

I busted my butt to get everything done but it still wasn't quite enough time. I had to stash a little bit of stuff but now my place looks AMAZING! I am going to slowly un-stash the restof my stuff and go through it. Oh...it feels so good to come home to a clean house for sure.

 

Grocery Shopping

I am going grocery shopping tonight and here is my goals:

1. Spend less then $50

2. Get everything I need for the week so I don't have to make any little trips that add up quickly.

Here is what I am buying:

Eggs

Canadian Bacon (I will explain my lazy breakfast later)

Egg Whites

Veg. Sausage

Sparkling Water

String Cheese

Apples

Grapefruit

Sweet Potato Fries

Veg. Chx Nuggets

Dark Chocolate (yummmmmm)

Veg. Patties

Romaine

Balsamic Vineagarette

That is pretty much it. I will see how it goes...

Best Bachelorette Party Ever

If one of your ladies is getting married I have the PERFECT idea for you. We got a group of girls together and booked a private burlesque dance class. We met at my place at like 6:30, ate a little food, drank a little wine, and then opened gifts. I bought her the freaking hot black and white heels from the studio which she opened second to last. (The perfect set up) Then she opened the last gift that was a pair of long black gloves and a boa along with a business card from the studio. She was confused at first because she didn't know what the plans were but she quickly got excited. When we got to the studio everyone ended up buying gloves and it was so much fun. Hannah was amazing! The girls loved it! They want Christie to open a studio in North Scottsdale. I will post a picture or two when I get one.