Dear September #3

Dear September,

You have been so good to me. Seriously. I came into you at another low point. I felt bad about myself and was just plain sick of where I was at. You saved me. For that I must thank you. Below I wrote a follow up of my expections which, for the most part, you came through with flying colors.

1. Stop drinking soda (again). Today is day 30 of no soda. I feel so much better. How you did it I don't know but thank goodness. I feel like a different person when it is not a part of my diet.

2. Get my eating back on track. You really came through on this one. I did have a week or so of complete and utter naughtiness but I think that had a bit more to do with what my body was going through if you know what I mean *wink* (and if you don't then you must be a boy). I will be taxing your sibling, October, with something connected to this but you, my friend, did exactly what I asked you to do.

3. Start to feel comfortable teaching pole classes. Two words: mission accomplished.

4. Get to a manageable schedule. I have let go of a few things but this one is going to remain a bit dodgy until after the new year. I will explain more then but for now you are in the land of good enough.
5. Start and finish the Great Purge of 2009 part ll. You were doing just fine until I expanded the Purge. October will be getting a bit of a run off of this one due to all of the extra work I piled on you. I have accomplished a lot though so I have no complaints.
6. Have quiet time everyday. There was little touch and go for this one. The pee experience kinda threw a wrench in the whole deal but all in all it was adequate. Not good just adequate.

7. Create a cleaning routine and STICK to it. The main areas not affected by the Purge are in good shape. Yeah! Once the purge is over I will need to revisit this in a more specific way but until then everything is just fine.

Once again, thank you so much for your cooperation. I couldn't have done it without you.

Sincerely,

Kathy

P.S. Below is a photo of this mornings sunrise that I took on my way to the gym. I love the quiet roads. Maybe I am a morning persona after all.

Update Photos

Holy Cow! Here is the front photo comparison.

Update Photos - Complete

Oh my gosh! I really didn't think there would be that much of a difference but man oh man. I took only one front photo in the black capris and the rest in a pair of shorts. Can you believe it? Shorts. I don't look that awesome yet but one day at a time. Here they are. Enjoy!

Update: I forgot to add that I also measured my hips and they are sitting at 42.75". Not much of a change but I'll take it.

Question of the Week #4

Why can't I have my cake and eat it too?

We have all heard the saying, you can't have your cake and eat it too, right? Could there be a dumber saying? Why not? Who wants a cake they have to just sit there and stare at? Isn't the the point of having a cake to eat it? Why not say something like, "don't be a greedy bastard"? That is what people really mean when they say it. Someone please explain this to me!

A Day in the Life of My Stomach

I am often asked what I have done to lose so much weight and my answer is always, "ate better and exercised more." Well...I decided to show you what I eat. Please note that I honestly eat the exact same thing everyday except dinner. That changes but the rest of it is the same. Weird. I know. It will be difficult to change when I get married again because not everyone wants to eat the same thing all the time but it is a good thing that is so far in the future I can't even imagine it. I also do Weight Watchers but that is mainly because I am completely incapable of being responsible to myself. Yes, I pay $13 a week just to have someone else weigh me and then I leave. Whatever. It works. So without further ado...a day in the life of my stomach.

6:30am - Wake up and take Thyroid/Testosterone Medication. I can't eat for a whole hour after taking.



7:30am - 1 vegetarian sausage patty, 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 peach fruit cup, 1 mult-vitamin, 2 fish oils, and 1 vitamin B-complex.

10:00am - 1 packet cheese and 1 gala apple.

1:00pm - 1 container tomato soup and one vegetarian mushroom patty.

5:30pm - 4 vegetarian chicken nuggets, 1/2 cup sweet potatoe fries, and some mayo/katchup dipping sauce.

Sweet Snacks - 1 piece 72% Trader Joe's dark chocolate or a fruit chillers (MUM recommended it and I quickly fell in love)

Public Declaration #5

I don't do mornings. In fact, if I could stay up until 2:00am and wake up at 10:00 I would be one happy camper. That being said, I want to get over it because Public Declaration #5 is I am going to wake up at 5:40am every morning (Monday-Friday), get dressed, head to the gym and work out. Daunting? Yes.

Here is the deal:

First, yesterday I joined a gym and paid for an entire year. That committed me.

Second, I woke up this morning and did an entire workout before posting to see if it was physically possible for me to do it. (Probably should have done that before I joined the gym but I didn't want to think too much about this or I wouldn't end up doing it.)

Third, declare my goal to the WWW via this blog right here.

Something unexpected happened though. When I walked through the doors of the gym this morning I felt like I was coming home. I used to be a gym rat. (A long time ago but I was obsessive about it. I weighed my food, drank protein shakes that made me gag, etc...just to be "perfect". It wasn't healthy.) Then I got married and slowly stopped going. I said I didn't enjoy it blah, blah, blah. The reality is I didn't enjoy feeling guilty about hating cardio because I hate cardio. I hate cardio more then Skelator hates He-Man and we all know that is a lot. Here is the great thing, I don't have to do cardio at the gym because I bike 30+ miles a week and I dance 3-4 days a week (I love both of those so it doesn't feel like something I HAVE to do). Cardio? Done. So that leaves me with just my beloved free weights.

Possible Road Blocks:

1. Getting up early.
2. Going to bed earlier.
3. Not having anything to eat when I finish at the gym.
4. My already crazy schedule. (More on that later.)

Things that will help me be successful:

1. Pack my gym bag the night before with work clothes, towel, and beauty supplies. (I am going to buy an entire second set of all beauty supplies so I don't have to worry about transferring stuff in and out of my bag.)
2. Lay my gym clothes out so all I have to do is get dressed when I wake up (I don't have to eat because I will be taking my thyroid meds and can't eat for an hour after)
3. Have water bottle and light snack in a bag in the fridge so all I have to do it grab it and go.
4. Charge my Ipod once a week so I never get stuck without it.
5. Make sure I get to bed by 9:30pm Sunday-Thursday. (That will ensure my 8 hours)
6. Telling everyone so I feel like I have to get up and work out or others will be disappointed in me (Even though I know it isn't true but if it works who cares.)

I have an appointment on Sunday to get my measurements and body fat taken so I will post that on Monday. Phew! This is a big one. Wish me luck!

Okay...I am a Bit of a Magazine Whore

Not the “in the magazine” kind of way but in the “have a massive amount that have never been opened yet alone read but I have moved them from house to house to house” kind of way. Ridiculous? I know. I decided to finally let them go. I am going through them bit by bit and flagging the pages that interest me, scanning said pages to save and then I am getting rid of them. I think it is more then just the magazine though. I am a book whore too. I wish I was one of those people that could be content with checking them out from the library and then returning them once they are read but alas…I am not. I like to own them. I like to be able to go to my shelf and pluck any book I want down whenever I want to. I want to be a library. I guess it really makes me a reading whore. I love to read. I read the entire Twilight series in 4 days (granted I wasn’t working so I literally read all day and all night). It is almost an illness. I will ignore my duties to read. I will stay up until 1:30 in the morning (like I did last night) to read. I love to read. Wow…this kinda makes me sound like a freak.

So I finished my first batch of apple butter and if I must say so myself it is freaking amazing. I caved and brought some into work. Let’s just say it is getting RAVE reviews. The boys have already requested I bring in another bottle for bagel Friday. This was seriously one of the easiest things I have ever done as well as being super yummy. If you know me there is a high chance you already know what I will be giving to everyone for Christmas. Just saying…

So last night was graduation for my level 3 pole class. Yeah me! I officially got to walk across the floor and accept my white garter belt. It was quite fun. I have really grown to love these girls. Anywho, mushiness aside, I had a little harder time selecting my music then I did last time. Below is the list I came up with:

1. If I Were a Boy – Beyonce
2. If You See Amy – Britney Spears
3. If Today Were Your Last Day – Nickelback
4. Smooth Criminal – Alien Ant Farm
5. If Your Into It – Flight of the Conchords
6. Faint – Linkin Park
7. So Far Away – Staind
8. Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden

By the time I got to class that night I had it weeded down to either song 7 or 8 on the list. Eventually song 8 won out. It was on my list as a tribute to my 10 year high school reunion (more on that later) that is coming up in exactly 1 month. It was so fun. I need to practice a lot more though. I don’t feel like I am any good. Ugh. There goes that low self esteem thing again. I know it isn’t true (but I still can’t help thinking it) because I also had a teacher training class right after my regular class that once again pushed me beyond my comfort level. There were 4 of us so we each had a pole and Christie, the owner, says, “okay everyone let’s go upside down”. Just like last time with the not having shorts thing I was like “Boo Yeah! I have never done it so I am off the hook”. Nope…so not the case. They walked me through the set up and then when I was ready to give it a go they warned me that it would take me a little while to get the hang of it so I shouldn’t get frustrated.

Attempt 1: Not Quite.
Attempt 2: Not Quite.
Attempt 3: Nailed It!
Attempt 4: Nailed It!
Attempt 5: Nailed It! And was able to let go and put my hands on the floor and walk myself out.

Holy crap! There are no words to explain my excitement. One of these days I am going to smuggle a camera into class and have pictures taken so you all know I am telling the truth but until then you just have to take my word for it.

Christmas in September!

Last night was so awesome I don’t even know where to begin. Seriously…okay…focus. Things I have to go over:

1. Apple Butter
2. Chocolate Bar
3. Unexpected “Shopping”

Well, that looks like a good place to start. Remember me talking about going to see Julie and Julia with SR? The very next day SR embraced her inner chef and got to cooking. Me? I slowly worked my way in. It started and stopped with the guacamole. But the fact is, SR’s enthusiasm has really gotten me excited combined with my Mom, FFT, and MUM going in together to order 2 baskets from bountiful baskets plus a case of apples and peaches. That equals a heck of a lot of food going on at my house that I need to use. Quick. So last night I finally did something. I made apple butter! It is so simple and made my house smell delicious. Like Christmas in fact. It is not quite done yet due to me turning the crock pot off instead of to low before bed so I brought it with me to work to finish off. My poor coworkers get to smell the yumminess all day long and they aren’t getting any of it. I think I may make a few batches, freeze it, and give it away as gifts. The smell made my night.

Here is the recipe for you curious folks:

INGREDIENTS
12-15 apples - peeled, cored and chopped
3 cups white sugar
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
Pinch of salt

DIRECTIONS
1. Fill a slow cooker with diced apples, sugar, cinnamon, cloves and salt. Cover, and cook on high for 1 hour. Reduce heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for 12 hours, or until thick and dark golden in color.
2. Pack into small, freezer-safe containers leaving 3/4 inch space at the top. Store in the freezer.

Onto the chocolate bar, as I wrote about yesterday I had a mini meltdown. Nothing major just a little 5 year old style temper tantrum. I just want this whole process to be over with and it seems to be never ending. Well, I went to small group last night (which I have officially decided to no longer participate in since I am going to find a bible study closer to my house but that isn’t the point of this story) and wasn’t feeling well so I left about 20 minutes into it. I had barely walked in the door when my phone rang. It was one of my oldest friends that I had talked to post-meltdown Monday night. They knew I was having a rough couple of days so they popped in and brought me a chocolate bar. And not just any chocolate bar. It was a Ghirardelli raspberry filled dark chocolate (my fav!) bar. Yum! Into the freezer it went. It was such a simple gesture but it meant the world to me. It made me think that I need to start doing more spontaneous things like that. It completely made my night. Again.

With the smell of Christmas in the air and some yummy chocolate in my freezer I decided it was a great time to start to tackle the gynormous mess that is now my living room.

What better place to start then with sorting the Christmas stuff. I kinda wanted to start putting it up but I think that 3 ½ months early is a bit much. Anywho, as I was sorting though I came across an extra large box that as I opened it I thought I was going to start crying. I had completely forgotten about it.

See…a long time ago I was feeling pretty bad about myself so I packed up a lot of the clothes that were too small for me and saved them because I just knew I was going to fit them again. Guess what? I fit almost every single thing in that box and some of them are even too big for me. I am talking about shirts, pants, work out clothes. What a treat! It actually made up for a lot of the stuff I had gotten rid of. Maybe I won’t have to do the Pursuit of More Clothing Cheap for too much longer. (Except it is kinda fun so maybe I will just make the dollar amount lower and buy things like picture frames to refinish) Oh! My heart is so full. Once again…it completely made my night.

The Straw?

Last night my younger brother helped me move the rest of my stuff out of storage. Holy crap! There is a ton left. Granted a lot of it is STB’s that I will be weeding out of my stuff but still. The Great Purge of 2009 Part II is more then likely going to have to continue into October. Ugh. I am going to bust my butt in the hopes that I may be able to get it done before September 30th though.

Part of the stuff I picked up was my china hutch. MUM kindly offered to let me keep it in her garage since I don’t have a lot of space. When my brother and I dropped it off she was in the middle of dinner. She stopped what she was doing and made me some too. I wasn’t planning on eating and if I did it would have been something dumb. I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like her but I am not complaining.

My brother lives with my folks and so when I dropped him off I spent the next half hour talking to my Mom and Dad. I then headed out the door and my Dad walked me to my car where we spent another hour talking. Between MUM, my brother, Mom, and Dad they helped me avoid a complete melt down. I am not sure exactly what the straw was but it broke the camels back last night and I reached the point of being DONE. Not just DONE but DONE DONE. Thanks to my family for helping me get through it.

When Am I Truly Done With It?

Forgiveness


At church yesterday the sermon was on forgiveness. Interesting.

I am almost divorced and surprisingly at peace with the whole situation. Well…right now anyway. It could change tomorrow or on my drove home today but right now I am at peace. This peaceful frame of mind has gotten me thinking. How will I know I have truly forgiven him or have I already and it just hasn’t registered yet?

Another forgiveness post

All About MiE

My journey these last couple of months has turned from just a fat girl wanting to get thinner to a complete and total overhaul of myself. I have always had somewhat of a generic about me description so I decided to go all out. Below are my likes and dislikes. I will occassionally update it as items come up. Enjoy!

Things I like:
my mom's taco salad (only when she uses Catalina dressing not French dressing), costume parties (every party should be a costume party), riding my bike (it's a new hobbie and I freaking love it because it is my thinking time. I ride 30+ miles a week) watermelon gum, dancing (except ballet), reading books before I see the movie or play, dark chocolate (but it has to be Trader Joe's 72% dark and frozen), sweaters, dive bars, baths, high heels (must be comfortable), ice cream, glassware (I have to drink out of the proper type of glassware for whatever it is I am drinking), Christmas, going on road trips and stopping at all of the crazy things along the way (like the bed and breakfast that is shaped like a dog), changing my hair, purses (I have over 35 of them in all shapes and sizes), moving, pool tables, Autumn, Jager bombs, sleeping with my head at the bottom of the bed, organizing other peoples stuff, duvets, Tiffany lamps, grocery shopping, the word ri-GodDamn-diculous, breaking the sugar crust on the top of creme brulee, tattoos (especially on the back of the arm for guys though not on women), bandanas, Moscato, wind chimes, smoking cigars, raking leaves, watching movies in bed, being barefoot, complimenting strangers, penguins, laughing until my face hurts, people watching, sewing, photography (I used to be really good), coat racks, and ...

Things I don't like:
olives, putting gas in my car, when people put their bumper stickers on crooked or slightly off center, over ripe fruit, raw meat (especially touching it. ugh. I am pretty much a vegetarian because the thought of having to touch it makes me ill. Well...that and it was once alive), my little lips, when people don't roll their windows down on a beautiful day, the word moist, doing laundry, the fact that if someone gets hurt in front of me my first reaction is to laugh, when the easy peel on my string cheese is sealed shut, beer, when people argue with me about what my real name is (I promise that Kathy is not short for anything), brownies, putting away silverware, shaving my legs (I do it but it makes me crazy), skinny jeans, getting hit on by the men waiting at the bus stop as I ride my bike by or at all really, light colored denim, my small man hands, Southern California, fancy cars (they honestly seem like such a waste), crowds, when my niece cries for any reason, leftovers, the takeoff of plane rides, checking my voicemail, being hot when I am trying to sleep, when people in my office building take the elevator up to the second floor rather then taking the stairs (it is only like 24 steps), tan lines, baseball hats (except for on one of the guys in my building. He is SUPER hot in a baseball hat but only kinda hot without it. weird), over cooked noodles, being lied to, getting drunk (buzzed okay. wasted is not okay), PDA (I hate, hate, hate it. Holding hands and the occasional kiss is about as much as I can stand), baking, when my dog licks my toes, cargo pants, camouflage, negative people, yappy dogs, flies (they piss me off and seem to serve no purpose other then pissing me off), fighting, waking up to the sound of my dog throwing up (I would have to say that is the WORST SOUND EVER), feeling sorry for myself, and ...

Make a Difference

I am doing the Susan G Komen 5K Race (walk) for the Cure on October 11th. I have a personal goal of raising $300 as well as my team has a goal of raising $1,000 and having 20 walkers. If you would like to support any of those goals we would greatly appreciate it.

To Donate: Click Here
1. Complete Donation Form on the Page

To Walk/Join the Team: Click Here
1. Select Join Our Team
2. Read/Agree with Waiver
3. Complete Registration Form
4. Get ready to have fun on the 11th!

To Pray for Us: You Can Be Anywhere

So last night I started both The Great Purge of 2009 Part II as well as The Great Anti-Shopping Spree of 2009 and it was fantastic. Look at my progress in just one night!

That is everything that I am getting rid of so far. There are still quite a few items of clothing left in my closet that I have either:

A. NEVER worn
B. Only worn a couple of times

So that being said they have an expiration date. I must wear them by the end of the year or they are out. I currently fit everything in my closet. I have no excuse anymore. So let me tell you...today I am wearing a shirt I have never worn (but owned for 2 years) and some shoes I have only worn twice (but owned since March).

There are a couple of items that I was just not ready to get rid of but that are just sitting there so they also have expiration dates set on them for the end of this year.

1. The racket ball bag. I bought this a year and a half ago at Goodwill for $3.00 but never used. I thought I would use it all the time but alas I do/have not. I better get crackin'.

2. I went through this phase where I was going to knit. I love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love...well you get the picture...scarves. (Side note: I obviously live in the wrong state for a love like that.) I have all of these awesome knitting supplies in an awesome knitting bag that is just gathering dust. I must knit a scarf by the end of the year or get rid of everything and move on. Oh...that hurts my heart to write but I am going to hold myself to it.

3. I need to finish my lamp. Last year about this time I found this awesome Tiffany style lamp shade at a garage sale for like $10 and decided I was going to make a lamp. My Mom even bought me all of the supplies to finish it for Christmas. Where am I at now? The exact same place I was on December 25, 2008. Nowhere. Good God.

4. I think croquet is one of the best games on the planet. So much so that I pushed to have it put on my bridal registry. Problem? 2 and 1/2 years later it is still in the bag completely and utterly unused. That's right. I actually cut the plastic piece holding the zipper shut last night. Embarrassing? I know.

There is one thing that is immune from getting purged though. It is completely rediculous that I own it. I have had it for almost 5 years and NEVER used it. My chances of using it in the next 5 years are almost slim to none but I will not get rid of it. Da-da-dada!

Also, the lost will be found. I found my freaking birth certificate. Can you believe it?! I put it somewhere safe (Mom, you know what I talking about) and I haven't seen it since...almost 3 years. I found it! I found it! I found it! I also, if you remember my post from a couple days about about the pee saturated devotional book, found another book that I like even better! I have no idea where it came from but I found it in one of my boxes. I am pretty sure it was a gift for my baptism August of last year but I am not entirely sure.

I am beyond blessed by this purging experience. I highly recommend everyone give it a go.

And When I Woke Up There Was a Leaf In My Bed

Seriously. A leaf. How did that happen? I looked around the outside of my apartment and couldn't even find a tree that matched the leaf.  Maybe it hitched a ride with me as I rode Miss Roxy home? Who knows.

Last night I developed a deep respect for all dance/fitness instructors. I ran a class on Tuesday night and then had my class last night. Oh. My. Gosh. When it came time for abs I thought I was going to die. This business of doing it multiple times a week can be quite labor intensive. So to that ladies, I say well done.

As you may have noticed while following my blog or knowing me personally, I like to change my hair. A lot. Well this time I went from almost black to quite blonde. The problem? My hair now feels like straw. So much so that I could probably go as the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween without the need for a costume. I was contemplating this problem yesterday and I decided to do a bit of research. I found this great website that talked about deep conditioning it. I often sleep with conditioner in my hair but this website recommended one step further. Put the conditioner in your hair, wrap it in plastic wrap, and blow dry it. Holy crap. Why didn't I think about that? Worked like a charm. My hair feels less straw like this morning. It was weird sleeping with plastic on my head but whatever. Hm...maybe that is somehow linked to the leaf? Probably not.

Anywho, speaking of Halloween I have selected my costume. A bar maid. Here is a picture of the pattern.

Isn't that awesome? I am going with black and hot pink. BooYeah Grandma (that one was for you MUM)! I am a little concerned about making it because I am losing so much weight I am afraid if I take my measurements now I won't fit it later. Hmmmm...I will have to talk to my Mom about that one. She is a super duper seamstress. The great thing is by making it myself I can make sure I am covered. Too often Halloween turns into Sluttereen or Whoreween. I want to look like a classy bar maid. Is that too much to ask?

Announcement

I am taking my measurements and updating my photos some time over the next couple of days so keeps your eyes peeled! 

SIL Has A Proper Nickname!

For months now I have been calling my sister in law by the nickname SIL, the acronym of sister in law. How lame is that? No thought or anything put into it. Just plain SIL. Enough is enough. When I was riding Miss Roxy (my lovely beach cruiser) last night I was thinking about this huge dilema. How can I fix it? What nickname does she deserve? And then it hit me!

My Unintentional Motivator (MUM)

How great is that?! There have been countless examples of ways that she, just being the person she is, has motivated me to do better or be better.

Example 1
Example 2
Example 3

I hope you like it MUM because I sure do.

He Peed All Over It

If you remember from my Dear September letter, one of my goals is to have quiet time everyday. I am not so great at doing it so I decided to utilize a book I was given. Problem? I had a friend over on Sunday and we were having a nice glass of wine with dinner. My devotional book was being used as a cup holder because I don’t have a dining room table and we were eating on the floor. We got up to clear the dishes, came back to sit on the couch, and before we knew it my STB’s dog, who I am watching because he can’t have him where he is at, started peeing. And when I say he peed I mean he walked across my floor while letting it all go. Pee everywhere. A sea of pee. Including? All over my devotional book. Nice. I didn’t know he could hold that much pee. The things that made me really angry are:

A. The dog is almost 3.

B. I took him out a half hour before this happened.

C. He was supposed to be gone by the end of August.

Now what am I supposed to do? I can’t use that book anymore because every time I look at it I will think of how pee saturated it was. I mean…really? Was that necessary? I do feel somewhat better because supposedly the dog is supposed to be gone by tonight. We’ll see about that.

Moving on to less aggravating subjects, I taught another pole class last night. Have you ever done something and felt super comfortable with it right off the bat? Kinda like you were born to do whatever it is you just started doing? Well…that is what I feel like with teaching pole. Hands down the best job in the freaking world. The excitement the women show when they get the trick is so inspiring. I leave the classes wanting to be better myself. I don’t just mean be better at the pole but to be better at life. So I took that inspiration and did something with it last night. Behold…

Guacamole. I made guacamole. All by myself. The only issue was I then ate some of said guacamole. I guess it could have been worse. I could have made cupcakes. Avocado has the healthy fat, right? Anywho, that made me think, "Why don’t I cook more?" It literally took me less then 3 minutes to make it. I can easily use the excuse, “well, I do live by myself and I really hate leftovers. Blah, blah, blah…” but the reality is I think I am just lazy. Hm…I don’t think I like that realization. Maybe next month…

And Then I Kept Driving

It happened last night. I was on my way to the Pilat-MiEz class and then I kept driving. I don't know what overcame me. I literally hestitated as I neared the drive but then put my foot back on the gas. I called my SIL and asked if it was okay to come over early. She said yes and there I went. I'm not usually like that but I wasn't in the mood. I used to beat myself up for stuff like that but last night I didn't. We had a great conversation and did 45 minutes of cardio. Side Note: I really need a new nickname for her other then SIL. It just seems so blah....

Solution to My Latest Boo Hoo

I have been quite the busy bee lately. A productive busy bee and I like it. Friday night I had a wonderful evening with SR. We started with dinner at Sweet Tomatoes, my favorite, and then went and saw Julie and Julia. Now I am not the movie buying kind of person but I would definitely buy that flick.

Saturday morning I started my new experiment. I have been boo hoo-ing the last couple of weeks about my diminishing wardrobe and I am sure you all are just as sick of reading about it as I am writing about it. I am of the mentality that when I don't like something about myself I need to either do something about it or shut up and deal with it. Well, this isn't a deal with it kind of situation. I needed a solution. Enter: Already Pretty. I found her blog through someone else's and let's just say I stole her idea. Well technically she stole it from someone else so I think I am in the clear. Anywho, I am not doing a shopping ban but a Pursuit for More Clothing. Cheap. Wow! Good title. I think that one is going to stick. Moving on, my younger sister, lets call her FFT (fan-freaking-tastic) met me at Goodwill at 8:30am on Saturday. Problem? It doesn't open until 9. We ran a quick errand and came back to the front of the store being completely crowded. We are talking about crowded like the day after Thanksgiving crowded. Who would have thought? Anyway, below are my rules. FFT helped me think of a couple of them.

1. I can spent $20/week.

2. I am not allowed to look at or buy any shoes or purses. I have plenty.

3. If I spend less then the $20 I can either save it for the next week or save it to eventually buy a Kathy Van Zeeland or Guess purse. (only exception to rule 2)

4. Must have fun.

5. If I slip up and spend a little bit extra I will NOT beat myself up. This is a fun way of improving my wardrobe and nothing more.

After shopping with FFT I made my way home and spent the better part of my afternoon finally catching up in my apartment and getting some good purging in. I am getting rid of a ton of stuff this time and it is so freeing. I am going to take some pictures tonight of the great Anti-Shopping Spree of 2009. I need to clear my closet to make room for all of amazing finds I know I will be coming across during my Pursuits for More Clothing Cheap so I am removing anything that might get in my way. I will take pictures so you all can share in the fun.

That night a group of my girlfriends met me at my place for some yummy food, wine and company. We talked for a bit and then headed to Express MiE for a private party. I was the instructor and let's just say I have not had that much fun in a long time. The progress of the evening was the best part. Here were the stages as I saw them.

1. Complete and total apprehension mixed in with some nervous anticipation.

2. The feeling of awkwardness as you look around the room at other people.

3. Transition to total excitement after watching the demo.

In the end I felt like a proud Mom. I truly felt like each and every girl, in their own way, felt sexy. Officially the best job in the world. Sunday continued in the same fun fashion as the rest of the weekend so all in all this weekend was a success.

Oh! For you curious types I had another cyst form after my class on Saturday so I took a picture so you can see what it looks like. I took a picture of both wrists so you can compare. It hurts so freaking bad!

Question of the Week #2

Why is it that a 4 day work week seems 10 times as long as a 5 day work week?

That doesn't mathematically work out, right? Seriously. This week just went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. You probably get the point but for real...I thought it was never going to end. That seems like a strange punishment for enjoying myself for 3 whole days in a row. It almost makes the 3 day weekend not worth it. Almost.

Dear September #2

Dear September,

I figured that since we are now a third of the way through you it might be a good time to check in. In the last 10 days I have experienced a wide variety of activities and emotions. Not all good but definitely all needed. You have also brought with you some cooler weather that is much appreciated. It is still quite hot but not quite as hot so thank you. As far as the list goes, here is my progess.

1. Stop drinking soda (again). I haven't had a soda in 10 days. Not one. Not even one when I was out of town on vacation and everyone knows you get to cheat a little when you are on vacation. I say, well done.

2. Get my eating back on track. Minus this past weekend I have done really well with this one. My SIL introduced me to a new frozen treat like thing which has quickly turned into one of my favorites. One of these days I need to take some pictures of all of the yummy things I eat on a daily basis but until then you will have to trust me that I am doing well.

3. Start to feel comfortable teaching pole classes. This one was much easier then I thought it was going to be. I taught my first class last Friday and loved every second of it. It helped that one of my best girlfriends in the whole world was there but still that class went well. Once I stopped stressing about what people would think about me all of my experience in being in the classes shined through and everyone was happy and tired in the end. I am doing my first party this Saturday night and cannot wait to see how it goes.

4. Get to a manageable schedule. This one I have failed miserably at. I have a friend that wanted to meet up and here were the options. This Friday, 9/11 after 6pm or Sunday, 9/20 after 4:00. That is not manageable. I think I need to sit down and completely write out my schedule and do some cutting. I haven't taken a dance class since I wrote you on the first. That needs to change.

5. Start and finish the Great Purge of 2009 part ll. All I can say in wow! The main items I am getting rid of this time are clothes. Lots and lots of clothes. It is both a good thing and a bad thing all rolled into one. My wardrobe is quickly diminishing but I am feeling better and better about myself. Double edged sword you could say. I am also letting go of some items that I thought I would eventually use. It feels so good. I will include some pictures later this month.

6. Have quiet time everyday. It is like I completely forgot about this one except for 1 day. 1 out of 10 is not good odds. I need to step this one up. Today.

7. Create a cleaning routine and STICK to it. No cleaning routine has been created yet but due to the purge cleaning has been taking place. That is at least a step in the right direction.

Your motivation has been exactly what I needed. Keep up the good work and as always, let me know if you have any questions or feel pressured.

Thanks,

Kathy

That's Gonna Leave a Mark...or Two

Here's the deal. I had a bad day yesterday. You know the kind. Where you get home from work, crawl on your bed and do a little bit of good ole' fashion crying. No particular reason in mind. Just crying for what is, what isn't, and what will never be. I didn't want to go to class that night. I wanted to stay home and wallow in my self pity. What pulled me from myself? A lovely text from my SIL that said, "Just an fyi... the dillards is closing at fiesta and everything is on sale including kathy purses... just sayin..." How does she do that? It's like she knows. We texted back and forth a little bit and next thing I knew I was on my way to class. I forgot my stuff I needed that night like my shoes but I made it to class.

In class I learned how to climb the pole. Holy crap. I am pretty bruised today. I must bruise more easily than most people because if professional dancers bruised like I do then I can't imagine they would do that well. Sorry...I digressed. Where were we? Oh yeah. Climbing. Main problem? It is easier to do wearing short shorts. Um...what? Oh God....

Picture this: 5 gorgeous instructors from the dance studio and me. Hannah, one of the dang cute teachers, says "I'll spot you". It's okay. I don't have any shorts (because I don't wear them. EVER). Express MiE sells Foxers. Problem solved. Crap.

If you know me well then you know I. Hate. My. Legs. Even though I have lost a HUGE chunk of weight I still feel like my legs are gynormous. I changed into the Foxers, put my pants on over them and walked back to the room.

Breath.

Breath.

Throw up in my mouth a little.

Breath.

Breath.

I stripped down to the Foxers and wouldn't you believe it! I climbed the pole. Hannah spotted me as promised. She did a little bit...okay...a lot of bit...of pushing but I made it. All the way to the top. Everyone was clapping. I was so proud of myself. When I got home that night I finally looked at myself in the mirror wearing just the Foxers. As I looked in the mirror for a long time do you know what I saw? Progress. In me. I didn't hate myself. So yeah...it definitely left a mark.

People often ask me why I take pole dancing classes. They say things like you are never going to use it in real life or aren't you worried about what people will think. I think the difference it has made on my confidence speaks enough without having to dignify those comments with a response but inevitably I end up saying, "because it's fun." Who couldn't use a little bit of fun in their life?

Bribery vs Incentive

Whichever way you slice it...it works. For me at least. That's right...I. Am. Shameless. I wish I were one of those people that could do it just because I should but alas I am not. I need to accept my limitations and work with them. So that means I did a little bit of shopping this weekend. Behold...(drum roll please)...the divorce purse.

Yup, you read it right. The divorce purse. All that is left to do is file the final paperwork but I have been dragging my feet. Not because I changed my mind but because I just want it to be done and I don't want to do anything else with it. I am still a little bitter that I had to do all the work (dumb I know) but come on. It just keeps going and going and going. Why isn't there an Easy Button for this? Anywho, SR (you remember her from the emergency room post?) went shopping with me yesterday and I must say we selected a winner. It is HUGE! For those of you who know me well you know how fitting this is but for those of you who don't let me explain. The first year and a half of my marriage every time my STB (soon to be) would piss me off I would buy a purse. Needless to say I have almost 40 of them. I am not talking the K-Mart brand kind but Guess and Kathy Van Zeeland. Not uber expensive but when you go from having 1 purse when you got married to almost 40 in the first year and a half the dollars add up quick. Here is the horrible part. Whenever STB would see me with a new purse he would ask about it (he was sometimes very observant) and I would lie. Over and over, purse after purse, lie after lie. When we gave our marriage the last honest go I finally confessed to him. It was both a relief and a small funeral at once. The lying could stop but so would all of the new purses. Anywho, very fitting that I would end the relationship with the incentive of a new purse. I can't use it until the decree is in hand. Ugh. I want it now!

Then there is the little problem of I have run out of clothes to grow back into. Not a bad problem to have to a problem none the less. I liked being able to dip into my closet and pull something out that I haven't worn in 2 years but it was even better to grow out of said garment. Well...I feel like I have come to a bit of a stand still so I bought myself some super cute pants that are just a little bit too small. I didn't buy them way too small because then it would get frustrating but they are just a half a size too small. Just right. I hung them in my kitchen so I could look at them all the time. You may think I am crazy but hell...it works.

Question of the Week #1

I have all of these questions rolling around my mind all the time so I have decided to set aside Sundays to examine some of them. Please feel free to add any thoughts.

Why do multi-vitamins taste like crap?

Seriously. My multi-vitamin is one of the most vile tasting and foul smelling things I have EVER come into contact with. I am literally dry heaving at the thought of it. I mean really? Think about it...those little pills are chock full of so many things why couldn't they throw a little chocolate in it. I like chocolate. Most girls like chocolate. It is a woman's multi-vitamin anyway so that would totally work. Instead we are left with these little horrid pills that if you accidentally consume one on an empty stomach you will regret it for the rest of the day. I thought they were supposed to make you feel better not worse? Someone please tell me how that works? One of my coworkers walked in on me taking my vitamins the other day and they laughed so hard at the look on my face that I have now taken to ingesting my multi's in private. My fish oil pills on the other hand are the size of horse pills but have a hint of orange so they are tolerable. If my multi's tasted like chocolate and my fish oil tasted like oranges then if I took them together it would be like having chocolate covered oranges. Doesn't that sound way more appetizing? I say yes.

Start to My Weekend Trip

I love rain!

Public Declaration Part 4 Update

I am sure some of you remember this post: http://itsallaboutmie.blogspot.com/2009/06/public-declaration-4-part-2.html

I am sorry to announce that I will have to forgo completion of this project. My wrists have a tendency to develop ganglion cysts (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ganglion-cysts/DS00767) . The article states that they are not painful but I have to disagree. It feels kinda like I have a sprain when I get one. And it is almost blinding pain when I put pressure on them sometimes. Anyway, I may choose to resume this again when I can get them to go away completely but until then I will need to come up with something else to declare.

Controlled Binge? Is There Such a Thing?

The time and location has been set. Me and my lovely SIL (I must come up with a better nickname then that because she is so much more then just a sister in law. Hmmm...super rad is taken...) are planning a controlled binge tonight. It will start with Taco Salad for dinner the way my Mom makes it. Yummy! Then we will move onto the ice cream. I'm not talking about that low calorie crap. I am talking about Chocolate Moose Tracks. You know the one. It has those little chocolate covered peanut butter cups in it. Man...my mouth is watering just thinking about it. I must set some ground rules though because if I don't I may end up in a food coma in the corner of her house somewhere. Probably not a good idea to have to call in sick tomorrow with more layoff on the horizon? No. Okay then here are the rules:

1. Make half as much taco salad as I think I want. I can ALWAYS go back for more. Seriously guys...it is freaking fantastic.
2. Wait 10 minutes after I finish my firsts before I decide whether or not I need seconds. We are not talking about the kind of need that seems to come up when I see that new Kathy Van Zeeland purse...on sale. I am talking about a real need. The "I am actually still hungry" need.
3. When it comes time for ice cream use one of her kid's bowls. They are much smaller and the reality is my stomach get extremely upset when I eat that kind of stuff nowadays.
4. Laugh, cry, and then laugh some more. It has been a crappy week when it comes to other people having a crappy time.

Wish me and SIL luck!

The Awesome Events Part l