We aren't meant to go through life alone. We aren't. We are meant for human interaction. We are meant to bond. We are meant for friendship. We are meant for love. We are meant to support. We are meant to carry each other when one of us doesn't seem able to take another step. Why then do so many of us insist on "dealing with things on our own"? I do. When I was going through a really rough patch last year I cut myself off from almost everyone. Seriously. There were only 3 or 4 people that I would actually answer the phone for and that was only because I didn't want them to worry about whether or not I was alive. For real. I actually had someone call and say "just calling to make sure you are still alive". Wow...
The thing is so many people (read: me) think that whatever they are going through other people won't understand. We all think we are alone. We are the only one going through a divorce or fill in the blank for whatever you are dealing with. I really saw today how untrue that is. My pastor was sharing what it was like being in Haiti this past week and the seeing devastation that this country went through. He said that he said désolé a lot. Désolé is French (the national language for Haiti is French and Haitian-Creole, as there are many dialects of Creole) for sorry. When he was saying sorry he knew he hadn't caused the devastation but it was his way of expressing to them that he hurt because they hurt. His heart was broken because their life was broken. I like that. Such a small way to show you care when no other words will properly express that. He then asked anyone in the room who had been affected in one way or another by cancer to stand up. Half the room stood. He told everyone to look around and know that they were not alone. He then did something that touched me to the core. He said, "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry". People broke down. He had that group of people keep standing and called two other groups to stand and join them. First people that had been affected by broken homes. "Désolé." Then people that had been affected by the economy. "Désolé". So simple yet so meaningful.
Sometimes things happen in your life, in the lives of those you love or in the lives of complete strangers that change it forever. When that happens to someone you know or don't know and you have no words to properly express what you feel try just saying "I'm sorry". That may be the very thing that they need to hear.
P.S. I love my new church.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY AWESOME!!!!!! Sounds like a great place and a very wise message from a pastor. It is true the words I am sorry can do so much for a hurting soul. Not everyone can understand everything that goes on with everyone but just knowing that they care at all goes a long ways, they don't have to understand to make an impact on you. But it is true there is always someone else going through what you are somewhere or at sometime. But it is a huge tool of the devil to try and get us to either kill the pain with bad habits(drinking,drugs, etc) or to isolate us from others so he can keep us insecure, unhappy and hopeless. Thanks for shareing this:) Glad you found such a great place. I miss church so very much. Ranch life is great but it does keep us from church a lot, not that that keeps us from GOD:)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! Just knowing someone cares can make all the difference in the world.
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Your post reminds me to accept the words. Too often I reply, "Why? It isn't your fault." But as your pastor so beautiful explained, it wasn't about assigning blame, it was about mourning with those that mourn.
ReplyDeleteI have said the same thing when people tell me they are sorry when it wasn't their fault. This definitely made me more conscious of letting people hurt with me. It's human nature.
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