Just Spoon Full of...

Loved ones helps the sadness go down...the sadness go do-own...the sadness go down. If your Mom loved The Sound of Music like mine did then you had the melody to accompany that little...oh...never mind. On Sunday I forced myself out of my house and made it to my folks for dinner where I lovingly got called out for disappearing and then the other night I made it to my mentors and they said exactly what I needed to hear, "Sometimes you have to do things you don't FEEL like doing." I have been succumbing to my feeling and emotions a lot lately. How's it working out for me? Well....you've been reading. Not the greatest, right? I decided to actually follow their advice and so far I have completed some design work, done the dishes, sorted my laundry, started to do some cleaning and organizing, and FINALLY started working on my personal business. I want to be a legit designer and I am the one that is holding me back.

I talked to D&G for a couple of hours the other night and they pin pointed my problem. I know where I want to be but the steps to get me there are so overwhelming that I freeze right where I am. That means I haven't started a dang thing. They are helping me by giving me homework. I chose-ish the homework and they are helping to keep me accountable. I really need that right now. I am feeling much better already. Since I stopped taking the anti-depressants due to the extreme fatigue I was feeling I have been slacking on taking all of my supplements. That probably didn't help my case. I am just full of setting myself up for failure, huh?

I also got called out today for being too critical of myself. I had to agree. It is still very hard for me to take compliments and all kind words are quickly deflected lest I actually, for once, feel something. I need to address why it is still so hard for me to take kindness. I most certainly have gotten better but it's still bad. I was complimented on something today and I quickly tried to minimize it. I had barely gotten the words out of my mouth when she told me to stop and say thank you cause she knew I wouldn't take it. How awful is that? I do it so often then she already knew it was going to happen before it happened. I have a girlfriend who has spoken to me about taking a course called Mending the Soul but I'm still praying to see if that is the correct direction for me.

In other news, I have officially decided to enter the dating world. That's right. I have a date next week with someone who seems super awesome. He calls me Miss Kathy and I love that for some reason. Anywho, you all know I don't talk pretty much at all about that stuff so that's all you get.

Moral of this whole post? Don't lose touch of those you love and who love you in return.