Don't Push So Hard!

I had my ultrasound yesterday. I wish it was another one to see the baby but alas...it was for my poor left boob. My appointment was at 4:00 but they had me arrive 30 minutes early. Not sure why but I went with it. Boyfriend is the ever wonderful guy that he is and went with me. When we got in the room it was dark and cold. They had me change into one of those really awkward, embarrassing shirt things that are open in the front. Thankfully it wasn't one of the crappy paper ones. I appreciated that. The guy came in to do my ultrasound and he was quiet as a church mouse. As he rolled the little tool over the area that my doctor found the lump he asked a few questions but gave no indication of anything. In one part I said that is about where it should be to which he responded, "Oh? It's tender then?" "Yes!", was my quick reply. He kept stopping and clicking pictures. Still no real interaction. I asked him if he found it and he said, "I'm not allowed to say a word about it. I could lose my job and this company could get sued." Apparently because he isn't a doctor and doesn't work for my doctor he can't say anything about anything other than "we're all done".

After we left, Boyfriend and I tried to speculate about his and the assistants reactions. Boyfriend said they looked like they may have been concerned but it also could have been concentration. I had no real speculation to make. I figure that having that job must be one of the worst jobs on the planet. Of course they know what a hormone growth, cyst, cancer or whatever else it could be looks like. That would be crappy training if they didn't but they can't indicate anything. They can't scream at you that you need to keep on your doctor about this or not to worry...everything will be fine. They just take the pictures, write a report, send it to your doctor and then we wait until the doctor contacts us. It could be almost a week until that happens. That's a long time in "waiting to hear if there's something wrong with you" time. I thought I would feel better about having this finally complete but I don't. Maybe once I hear? Here's to hoping that everything is just fine.

Today brings a very busy day. Thank goodness I am starting to feel better. I was really struggling with not getting a lot done but those days are, for the most part, behind me. I still get a little sick but not like I was getting. When I hung out with SIL the other day she completely inspired me. You see...I stopped writing to do lists. Completely. I haven't written one for months because I was tired of not completely them. When you are as sick as I was it makes it difficult to plan anything. I might wake up feeling okay but it could, and did, often change leaving me a wreck. As SIL and I talked on Tuesday I realized it is time to get back in the swing of normal. I rolled my sleeves up on Wednesday, wrote a relatively small to do list, and completed it. What I really wanted to write is one of those GIANT 45 page to do lists of everything that I want to get done in my entire life but I figured that would be self defeating so I started small. It is going to have to get bigger because we have a house to move but I am saving that for next week. I also am jam packed tomorrow and we get the keys tomorrow night but once Monday hits...it is time to get on it. I am lucky that I have a friend whose husband owns a convenience store so they always have plenty of boxes. I am picking those up tomorrow afternoon. I think once I have them in my possession it will make me feel better about this whole "moving" thing.

Oh and the tomato soup I made the other day wasn't that good. I'll be trying a different recipe next time. I wanted it to be really magical but it just...wasn't. In true Boyfriend fashion, boyfriend gobbled it down while I left like half of my bowl. I threw the rest away. He's spectacular.