Now What?

It's 4:00am and I am completely and utterly defeated. I was awoken by my dog seeming to have an asthma attack of some sort and quickly following that with a trip to the bathroom. In case you were wondering...violently throwing up does not trigger a pregnant woman's water to break. Instead it is just a painful experience of having to bend over while still getting Braxton Hick's contractions. So now here I sit...eating a bowl a cereal... commiserating about the fact that that today is my due date aaaaaaand I'm still. freaking. pregnant. Oh and J's parent's and brother arrive in a day and a half. Awesome. If there were something that was the polar opposite of a party hat I would so be wearing it right now.

I'm going to say it. I'm beyond tired of being pregnant. Seriously. Bring on labor. Bring on the contractions. Bring on any and all pain that accompanies this thing called giving birth. I don't want to play this game called pregnancy anymore. I'm tired of being tired. I tired of feeling and looking like a giant whale. I'm tired of not being able to breath because he is leaning on my lungs. I'm tired of all of the shitty things that come with being pregnant. I want my water to break right now. I've begged God to let it happen and still...nothing. I'll admit it...I'm mad at him right now. There is absolutely no need for me to be pregnant anymore. My midwife estimates that JD is pushing 8 pounds. That's a nice healthy weight. In fact, it is so healthy that he probably won't ever wear any of the newborn clothes we were given. He'll probably go straight into 0-3 months. He miss wearing some super cute stuff but...I know...that is better than being born too small. Oh and to add insult to injury when I first opened my computer I went to the baby website that has been tracking my pregnancy and instead of having the week listed it showed that I should now have a newborn and all of the new and exciting things I should be going through. No. Freaking. Kidding. It's so frustrating that I am exhibiting absolutely no symptoms of going into labor. None. Lots of contractions all the time but no real pain associated with them. This blows.

I'm ready for the new chapter. Let the lessons on patience commence...