If At First You Don't Succeed...

It's 6:15 in the morning and I'm eating ice cream. At this point I will try anything. Between boyfriend and I we have spent waaaaaaaaaay too much money trying to find stuff that will make me feel better. In fact, I went on a $20 shopping trip to Walgreens and loaded up on any and all things that I read about whether it be ginger ale to these things called Sea Bands, my new personal favorite. They are little things I wear around my wrist that have this little bead that pushes on some pressure point that relieves nausea. I feel like a 1990's basketball star though. LOL! They look like arm warmers. Anywho, I was awoken once again this morning with a bought of sickness and as I sat on the couch nibbling something to help with the empty feeling in my stomach I did more morning sickness research. I found this really great article on how to avoid it all together. One of the major things it mentioned was making sure you ate something that would coat your stomach before you partook in anything salty as to not aggravate your stomach further. I was eating saltines. Awesome. I haven't really had any milk products since the other day but at this point...I'll do anything. The article also said this, "Studies show that the high levels of pregnancy hormones that contribute to nausea also suggest a well-implanted embryo. In fact, the more nausea a mother has, the more likely she is to deliver a healthy baby. " I'll take it then. I want this baby.

Yesterday was the best day by far since last Tuesday. I've been couch bound since then and yesterday I finally felt okay enough to go somewhere. Good thing too because it was also the day where one of Boyfriend's friends was getting married. It would have been miserable if I was still feeling like I did the rest of the week. This is the first time I met this group of friends and they were fantastic. Not only were all of the people really cool but they way they did their wedding was the best. Their reception was in the backyard and they just had good food, a couple options for beverage and a DJ. Simple. To the point. And just plain fun. That is how I would like to do it. The wedding also gave boyfriend and I a really great gift. Over the past week boyfriend has been...well...less than sympathetic. He has actually been the opposite of it by saying things like mind over matter and whatnot. It's been frustrating for me. As we talked to a couple of women, even though I never said a word about it, one of the gals said, "He's not being very sympathetic is he?" I kinda just stared at her as he diverted his eyes around. What do you say to that?! Seriously. Well, I answered honestly with a "no". She went on to explain the following, "I don't know your relationship but it seems to me like he cares for you...a lot...and he would rather deny that you are feeling bad than to have to live with the fact that you feel bad. I bed he hates that he can't do anything about it." To that he quickly said, "I wish I could take it on!" Wow. Talk about a difference maker. Here I was thinking he was being an Ass thinking I was making this whole thing up when in reality it frustrates him that he hates that I feel like crap and hates that he can't fix it. Wow. I have to say that one tiny conversation made that whole day worth it. Oh and for the record...the ice cream didn't work. At all. Not one bit.  

Not As Good On the Back Way Up

So...if I am going to throw up strawberries are most definitely on my top 10 list of things that I would prefer to have recently eaten. Not that that has happened...or maybe it has. Whatever. The ship of no morning sickness has sailed. Far far away. I'm trapped in the land of being absolutely grateful for it because I know it means I am still pregnant and that there is a little baby in there causing it and on the other hand...I HATE THROWING UP! This to shall pass...this to shall pass...this to shall pass...

On top of talking to SIL about it I also did a lot of research about why my stomach has been so wrecked and after experimenting today I have come to the conclusion that I most likely am lactose intolerant which super sucks because cereal is soooooo delicious to me. Anywho, enough about that and onto the important stuff.

I have worked really hard to get my body to the point that I am at and my pregnancy will change that.  I know I am going to gain weight. That's a given. But I don't like how it seems almost expected that I am going to put a ton of weight on. I know those are big words coming from a girl who is only 6 or 7 weeks along but it frustrating to think that all of that hard work is going to go right out the door. I have done a lot of research and I know I don't have to put a lot of extra weight on. The averages it is said to be is between 10-25 pounds. I'm okay with the high side of that. Too much beyond that can't be healthy, can it? I guess only time will tell and the reality of the whole situation is I would gain a 100 pounds if my baby required it but I want to keep it in perspective. You know what the crazy thing is about being pregnant is at the beginning a woman only needs to consume an extra 150 calories and up to 300 as the pregnancy progresses. That's the equivalent of 2 frozen waffles with syrup. That's not that much. The good thing about throwing up is I don't need to worry about it too much for the next couple of weeks. Not funny yet? Ah well...

That Was a Terrible Idea.

Well...it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm up eating cereal. Why? I wasn't in the mood to eat dinner last night so I barely ate anything and then went to bed. I don't think I have entered REM sleep yet. My body wouldn't let me. In fact, I have spent most of the night thinking I was going to throw up. I tried to at one point in the hopes that it would make me feel better but it turns out I had nothing to throw up. I guess my pregnant self doesn't like to be starved. Now that I have eaten a bit I feel like a different person. Add that to my list of things to not do again. So...now that I have food in my belly my body is telling me that it is bed time. 'Night!

The Great Expanse of 2011

It is no secret that I didn't finish The 29 before I turned 30. I have 10 new things I still have to try. I thought about abandoning the idea but instead decided to write a list of things I was going to accomplish. Without further ado here is that list (in no particular order).

1. Make a quilt.

2. Make a bed frame out of the shutters.

3. Go on a hot air balloon ride.

4. Get my personal training certificate.

5. Have a baby.

6. Make the crib bedding.

7. Make my recipe book.

8. Redecorate the master bedroom.

9. Refinish a piece of furniture (maybe a rocking chair).

10. Go on a real vacation.

Wait. WHAT?! Did you see number 5? Yes, my wonderful friends, I am pregnant! I am pretty much the happiest girl on the planet for several reasons. 

1. It is supposed to be really hard for me to conceive. 

2. I'm going to have a baby! 

That pretty much covers it. My heart is so full right now. I'm not very far along (only six weeks going into my seventh) but due to my job I have to tell my dance classes because there are just some things I can't do anymore but I still want them to do. I'm not allowed to get my internal temperature too high so I can't get my cardio going like I used to. That's the crazy thing about being pregnant too. When you first tell people they are like, "YEAH! Now here's a list of things you can't do anymore. Be prepared to be completely uncomfortable for the next couple of months." To which I want to respond, "Yeah?" Oh...back to having to tell. I couldn't tell my classes and not tell you guys so here we are. I'm pregnant! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 

I'm completely and utterly terrified about having a miscarriage. It could still happen which I why I didn't want to tell people yet but again...my job. I have already had too many miscarriage dreams. My dream last night was so vivid that I woke up and was afraid that I had. Luckily I haven't but I could still totally do without those dreams. I did some research on it and have found that it is really common for women to have those kinds of dreams in their second trimester but then again...every pregnancy is different. I do feel lucky that I haven't experienced any morning sickness yet. That doesn't mean that it won't happen but it does mean that I am going to enjoy that fact. My younger sister had really bad morning sickness but my older sister had none. The crazy part is I would almost rather get it and learn to deal with it then to have this possible impending DOOM sitting over my shoulder. Does that make sense? But at the same time I would love to know if I'm not going to get it. Screw it. This is a perfect opportunity for me to learn to "go with the flow". 

You know what the sad part is? Both Boyfriend and I want to shout it from the rooftops but I don't want a lot of the Christian people I know to know about it. You know why? Because I know they are going to judge me. Isn't that sad? I am Christian and have had a lot of really bad experiences with other Christians judging me. Christians are supposed to be these loving, accepting people which, in reality, MOST of them are but it only takes a few to spoil the bunch, you know? I view this baby as a blessing directly from God and that's that. They can take their judgement and well...shove it. I'm SUPER happy. Boyfriend is ecstatic. Both of our families are SUPER happy. Our friends are super happy. This is a super happy situation and I refuse to let anyone take that away from me. I'M PREGNANT!

Oh and this means that my weight loss journey has been put on hold for the time being. My main priority is about 1/17th of an inch long. I do need to make sure that I keep myself healthy and don't go buck wild eating whatever I want. I want this to be a healthy pregnancy and I want to lose the weight as fast as I can after the fact so I gotta keep it healthy. Wish me luck! 

So EXCITED!

I'm addicted. It's true. Totally and completely addicted. My name is Kathy and I'm a blog stalker. My SIL introduced me to a couple of blogs that specialize in redecorating your house cheap and I can't quit looking at them. On top of that I realized there was a free section on craigslist which means I can get stuff for FREE! Right now I am waiting to hear if I got these really neat old shutters from someone's house that I plan on doing THIS with for the guest bedroom. Isn't that awesome?! On top of that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what she did with the duvet cover. Check it out HERE. It would be awesome to do that with either a black duvet cover and use black and white damaske for the ruffle or a white duvet with black ruffle and black sheets. I'm so so so in love with this girl's website. Plus there are tons of links everywhere to other super amazing blogs for me to stalk. For example, look at THIS. I have no idea why I LOVED it so much but I do. Big pink fluffy hearts LOVE it! Well...I was helping the gal stage the house yesterday and she had this really neat vintage book. It was spectacular except for the title of it. It is called Little Men. I don't think too much of it but the guys who were working on the house gave it a bit of a creep factor. The gal I was working with said she had been struggling with that book for ages and decided to finally get rid of me. She is letting me have it! Unfortunately we needed it to make something a bit taller but when this house is sold it is mine all mine! I have been struggling with what to do with all of my free time as of late and let's just say I found a solution. I'm going to make stuff as cool and as cheap as I can. I think I am going to start with instead of buying brand new fabric to make the quilt for the bedroom I am going to see if I have any that needs to be used up and I am going to start checking out Goodwill on its 50% off days. I bet there are used curtains, sheets, and whatnot that I can use.

I feel so invigorated! I feel like I have something cheap and easy that I can work towards. I feel like I am more useful now. I know that sounds crazy but I often feel like I am just floating through 70% of my life. I need to make my craft closet more accessible. Right now it is kinda all crammed in there. I still haven't used my t-shirt maker. I have so much that needs to be worked on. I need to make more play dates with SIL so we can get going on all of this stuff. First things first though. I am picking up an old school rocking chair tonight for the grand total of $20. It may or may not need to be refinished but either way I am soooooooo in love with it! Oh and I also put a request in for a couple of more free things. Some giant mirrors that we would make frames for and put in the gym. YEAH! My goal is to redecorate the ENTIRE house for less than $1,000. That sounds like a lot of money right now but when you get to adding all of the material together for everything it really isn't that much for an entire house. Oh and I just got the email. I GET THE SHUTTERS! Yeah for me!

SIL...you created a monster...

So Tired!

I'm so exhausted. All the time. I kinda over this feeling too. Oh well...it's part of life I guess. Today I got the opportunity to help the gal stage a house again. It is so fascinating to me. I also found out how much these investors pay to have it done and well...let's just say it is a pretty penny but well worth it in the long run. The house looked like a completely different place from the time we arrived to the time we left. It is exciting to be a part of something with such instant gratification. Sometimes instant gratification can be a good thing, you know?

I think it is time to start the quilt for the master bedroom. I rearranged some of my color ideas and after researching the most soothing colors for a bedroom I have come up with color scheme. I'm going to do browns, tans and green or blue. I can't decide which. Neither will work with paint in our room now but we are going to be moving some time soon so it will be just fine. Pretty excited about that. I decided that the black and white damaske is going to go in the guest bedroom. I gotta go make some homemade cornbread and chocolate chip cookies. My brother and his new wife are coming over for dinner. So much going on right now!

Blah Blah Blah

This life thing is pretty crazy. Seriously. Just when I think I have it all under control it all changes. With the blink of an eye. I guess I should just get used to the fact that I do not and will not ever have it under control. That must be part of the mystery and magic of being human, huh?

It's that time again. If you have been following this blog for any length of time then you will know that one of my worst vices is drinking soda. And lots of it. Well...I think it is time to give it up again. I'm going to try to wean myself off of the caffeine first and then get rid of it all together. I know the stuff is awful for me and I know they add stuff to it to make us want it. Make us crave it. Make us have to have it. That is why it is time. It isn't good for me anymore. I have bigger goals on the horizon that I have to take care of. Can you tell I'm not exactly excited about this idea? Oh well...

My riding boots arrive today! I'm pretty much the definition of excited about this! I'm also planning on picking up my riding helmet this week so I will be completely outfitted for the safest riding ever minus the fact that I don't have chaps yet. Those are going to have to wait until winter time. I also need a leather vest but again it isn't a huge priority. I'll post pictures of everything once I get it all. The jacket is amazing though! I wore it on Sunday and it made all of the difference in the world!

Also, be on the lookout in the next month or so for the modified 29 list. I obviously didn't finish it before I turned 30 but I'm at peace with that. I'm going to write a list of the rest of the items I want to accomplish...that way I have some set items I need to do rather than the willy nilly do whatever thing. I haven't decided on everything though so I can't post it.

This post is a little all over the place but only because I feel a little all over the place...aaaaaaaaah...life.

Just When You Think...

God is great and everything is scary and wonderful all at the same time. Just when I thought I had everything under control God is reminding me, yet again, that he is the one in charge. Thank goodness for that because I would mess it all up. There's not a whole lot more I can say about that right now but trust me...you're going to love it just as much as I do!

Never Underestimate

I literally hurt from my hair follicles to my toe nails. I'm talking sore. If I'm sore from teaching my classes then the girls must be sore from taking them unless, of course, they are cheating and not doing the step all the way. That's on them though. I did find out tonight that my warm up for my Zumba class is the hardest part of the class. Isn't that funny?! I never would have thought! I guess it pays talking to people who take the class, huh? I love teaching. It takes me from a run down mood, which is what I was in yesterday, to on top of the world in about 45 minutes. There is something about sweating with other people that makes me just plain feel good and being around other positive people. Can't beat it. That kinda brings me to the main point of this post...

Never underestimate the power of spending time. Boyfriend and I have had a hectic couple of weeks and I mean HECTIC. Due to my birthday and our work schedules last week we didn't get to work out together at all. Last night I finally put my foot down and even though I taught 2 classes I came home and worked out with him. I can't believe the difference it made in our relationship. An hour of doing our core, running (I ended up walking because my poor boobs hurt. This being a girl thing kinda blows sometimes.) and lifting together and I could already tell a noticeable difference in our relationship. We need that time together. When we word out together we take each other to the breaking point and beyond then...something happens. We get closer. We have been lacking in that department. All that plus so much stress we don't know what to do with ourselves. It helps to really talk about it too. I feel like we are back to normal now.

So...I got some training on Tuesday that opened up a whole new world for me when it comes to web design! I can't wait to start sharing the sites that I've finished! There is one that should be done by the end of this week. Such an exciting time!

Please Forgive Me Barbara

I had an affair. A very public affair. I deeply regret it. Who with? A 2010 Toyota Carolla. The insurance company for the guy who hit me back in the beginning of January finally got ahold of their driver so they scheduled me in to get poor Barbara fixed. I was very sad to drop her off. I love her. She takes very, very good care of me but the moment I dropped off her key and got in my 2010 rental my heart went elsewhere. I was in lust with that car. Barbara is a 1997. That's a 13 year difference. Surprisingly though a lot of the features, aside from keyless entry, were the exact same but I couldn't get over the delicious new car smell. I couldn't get over the way she moved when I punched the gas (just to see what would happen, of course). It was absolute bliss for like the first 2 days. And then? And then I started longing to have Barbara back. She's paid off. In fact, the repairs almost cost as much as she is worth. I'm glad they didn't total her out. That probably would have devastated me. Here's the deal. She doesn't really have blind spots. I almost forgot that other cars do until I almost smashed into another car in the 2010. She makes me drive slow and steady. I used to have a lead foot. We're talking it was average for me to drive 85 miles per hour on the freeway...everywhere. Barbara had to work too hard to do that. I now drive the speed limit or maybe a little over. The 2010? She was easy to speed in. I wasn't paying attention to the speed while driving on the freeway when all of the sudden I looked down and saw that I was doing 80. It didn't feel like 80. It felt like 65. When I drive 65 in Barbara it feels like 80. Let's just say...I was glad to have Miss Barbara back. I dropped the keys to the 2010 at the desk and practically ran to Barbara. She treats me so well. Someday I will replace her and that will be a very sad day but for now? It's me and her all the way!

The Dirty 30's

I'm 30. It's kinda crazy to write that but yet it has so many different possibilities to it. It's kinda like starting a new day or a new month or a new year but BIGGER...way bigger. I'm starting a new decade. That's kind of a giant deal. I have the next 10 years to get to know myself EVEN better. I can only imagine who I will be when I turn 40 because looking back on this blog and seeing everything that has changed in the last 2 years...it's mind blowing. My birthday though...it. was. amazing.

Boyfriend and I had a little stacation not too far from home. We had dinner the night before (Feb 3) that...well...let's just say it didn't agree with my stomach. I spent the rest of the evening curled up in the fetal position. That's the only crappy thing about eating way healthy. When you eat not healthy it really jacks with your body. I remember, vaguely, Boyfriend shoving pepto tablets in my mouth and he said he wanted to gag because I chewed them right up. I don't really remember that. The next morning I woke up feeling much better and we had breakfast and I headed to get a massage. Yahoo! I love massages. I love everything about them. My body has been a wreck lately and I love getting worked on. When we made the appointment they asked if I minded a guy doing it, which I didn't, but when I arrived they told me my therapist was Sherri. Huh. A girl. I sat in the waiting area and this guy (everything you would think WOULDn't be a therapist) walked in. His name was Sherri and I was shocked. I followed him back all the while giving myself a pep talk. It will be fine and I was so right! One of the best massages I have ever received!

Once I was done I wandered back to the hotel and we began the rest of our day. We had lunch at Jimmy Johns, which is super yummy, and then Boyfriend surprised me with a visit to the zoo. I have to admit...I love the zoo. I could wander for hours! I love looking at all of the different animals and fortunately for us the weather was kinda cool but the sun was out and shining which meant all of the animals were out and sunning themselves. The lions were having the laziest day ever. The Phoenix zoo even has a koala exhibit that is going on for just a few short months because once it gets warm they have to take them somewhere cool. Did you know that Koala's sleep for 18-22 hours?! Isn't that crazy?! The cool part was usually they are only awake during feeding time in the am and when they get weighed at 1:30. We were there much later but the female was awake. They are so cute!

After we left the zoo Boyfriend took me to get my gift, motorcycle boots. We were both kinda bummed because the selection wasn't super great and I didn't end up finding something that I loved so we are going to keep looking. When we finished with that we headed to dinner. Texas Roadhouse. I love Texas Roadhouse and there was one right down the street but Boyfriend said his stomach didn't feel very good and maybe the longer drive to the location nearer to home would be better. I was in the "go with the flow mode" so fine. I probably should add that they night before I had a total meltdown because I wasn't going to be celebrating with my family and friends so I had a bit of an attitude adjustment. Anywho, back to the story. When we arrived at the restaurant the line was SUPER long. I told Boyfriend to stay in line and I was going to call to make reservations. I walked outside, turned around and Boyfriend was standing behind me. The rest goes like this.

Me: What the hell?! Why didn't you stay in line. Now they're even more people in front of us.
Boyfriend: Sorry. Let's go over here.
Me: Why...is that my Dad...OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! Everyone is here!

Boyfriend did a surprise party for me! Isn't that awesome?! I've never had one before. My family and friends were there. I was on cloud nine. I will never doubt Byofriend's planning skills again. This was officially my best birthday ever. Even down to the yellow cake with chocolate frosting my Mom brought. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday amazing! I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Crappy Service, Feeling Like a Burrito and The 29 #19

I try REALLY hard to not be a negative girl. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but this one caused me to write my very first review on Yelp. My review sums it up best so I just pasted below.

I have to be completely honest...I never write reviews but this time I had to. I arrived 15 minutes early for my 12:00pm body wrap, a spa service I purchased through Groupon, per the gal who scheduled my appointment. There were 3 employees standing at the front desk when I walked in...chatting or should I say gossiping because they were whispering to each other. They were soon joined by another gal and I was left sitting in the waiting area until 12:13 having to listen to all 4 of them talk and order lunch. When Kelly came to get me my appointment was already 13 minuted behind. In my opinion, Kelly was the ONLY saving grace for this place (and the reason I marked them with 2 stars instead of 1). She was super nice and did an excellent job taking care of me. I would consider going back just to get a regular massage from her but the rest of the staff ruined my desire to return at all. On top of the fact that my appointment started 13 minutes late it also ended 2 minutes early bringing my 60 minute body wrap down to 45 minutes. All in all it was a very disappointing experience. I was really hoping to find a spa that I could frequent on a monthly basis. Onto the next one I guess...

This makes it official. I'm not the typical kind of girl. Minus the fact that it was 15 minutes short I didn't really enjoy the wrap and not because she did a bad job. It is because one of the things I hate about most sleeping bags is how binding they feel. Why on Earth would I think that I would enjoy being wrapped up like a little baby? So not enjoyable. The only part I really liked was the scalp massage. The rest of it...meh. 

Here is a picture of the room, my view from laying down and the shower. 

Light Rain, Long Drive and The 29 #18

Initially I wasn't planning on including this particular activity in the whole list of 29 but after talking to the gal I realized that this was a COMPLETELY different procedure then the other one. What am I talking about? Laser hair removal vs laser varicose vein removal. I got varicose vein removal months ago and it was pretty painful. Felt like I was being pelted over and over again by tiny rubber bands. Laser hair removal? The worst part was the freezing cold gel she smeared all over my legs. The rest of it we just chatted to our little hearts content. I have up to 12 treatments for both my lower legs and underarms. So far I haven't seen ANY results. I'm not completely surprised about that because a couple of other gals I work with at the studio bought the same Groupon and after multiple treatments have seen no results. I decided to at least TRY to see if I would get different results. I haven't decided how many treatments I am going to go with before I give up but I am at least going give it a couple. Fingers crossed!

Dingy Casino's, Completely Guessing and The 29 #17

It's no secret that I love Las Vegas. I love it in small doses but I still love it. The middle of January brought Boyfriend and I there to help work husband Bob and his wonderful wife's wedding celebration. We barely made it in time to shower, change and get to the party. They booked a room in the Paris Eiffel Tower restuaruant. It was BEAUTIFUL! We ate yummy food to our little hearts contents, drank some delicious wine, and were a part of the wonderful celebration. It couldn't have been better! As the "official" evening wound down we had to find something to do with ourselves for an hour before the after party started.

Enter....the dirty, gross, nasty casino and roulette. I've never been one for gambling. I don't really understand the point of it. You're basically just giving your money away. That doesn't seem fun to be. Anywho, Boyfriend talked me unto going into this casino and playing a couple rounds of roulette. We walked in, placed a $20 on the table and left with over $90. I was busy talking to a couple of the other guys at the table and shouted out numbers when boyfriend asked for them. We literally just guessed. It was kinda fun because we won but then again...that isn't a guarantee. I like a guarantee. Here are some fun pics from the evening.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I feel like my lungs are bleeding. That's what running in 40 degree weather feels like. If feels like your lungs are bleeding and like your ears are going to fall off and like your joints are going to lock up and like it is the most terrible idea you have EVER had. I did it though. I got my running in and that is an awesome feeling! Oh and there are going to be another 2 or 3 posts tonight. I've gotten behind on my 29.

Oh and I initially forgot to add...I painted my nails today! They look fabulous and all just in time for my birthday. We leave tomorrow afternoon for our stacation which I am super excited about. I've never really done one of those before. YAHOO!

Carb Loading! YAHOO!

It's amazing what eating properly can do for the body. That along with exercise does a Kathy good. Back to the eating though. Since I started teaching A LOT more my body has been feeling run down and little...well...less than fresh. I talked to one of the other gals who teaches a lot of classes all the time and do you know what she said? She said she carb loads the day before a really long day. Um...yes please! That brings me to Sunday night. I had 2 cardio classes and 1 pole class for a total of 3 hours of exercise on Monday plus I was helping the gal get the house ready. Enter...macaroni and cheese. Yes, my friends, macaroni and cheese. My favorite. I ate it. I ate it and I felt NO guilt. I have to admit...it probably wasn't the best choice BUT one time won't hurt. Fast forward to Monday night after my classes, I was jam packed full of energy! That was a much different feeling than I have been feeling. Fast forward again to last night. I had a Zumba class (which rocked!) so I tried eating an apple, trail mix, and a friend brought me this natural PB mixed with chocolate. I ate the PB really close to the class start time and to be perfectly honest it was delicious but it was kinda coming up in my throat at one point. Gross...I know. That taught me something valuable. Eat further out and I will be fine. The end of class I felt fantastic!

The end of class is the part of that I can't fully comprehend or even explain properly. I left Express MiE feeling so energized. So full of life. I was literally driving home without the music on praying and thanking God for my day because my heart was so full that it almost hurt. There is a portion of my class towards the end that I turn all of the girls into a giant circle, all facing in and I thank them for coming. I do this for one main reason. I do it because I mean it. I love my job and without each and everyone of them it wouldn't be possible. I get to tell them that they are awesome because they are awesome and no ever can hear that too much. I get to tell them that they are beautiful because they are beautiful...sweat and all. They are all beautiful. Plus my Mom was there again last night. I love having her there. I haven't been able to figure out why it means to much to me but I guess it comes down to I feel like there is so much of my life that no one in my family is a part of. I have been teaching at Express MiE in one capacity or another for a year and a half and a couple of my family members have attended a couple of time but no one was a part of it. I guess that was kinda hard on me because Express MiE is such a big part of who I am and why I am in the spot that I am right now. I means a lot that someone that I love very much loves it just as much as I do.

That leads me to the exercise part. After I got home from teaching Zumba Boyfriend and I worked out and ran. When we got all done I was tired BUT yet at the same time I was absolutely jazzed. Exercising  enhances my happiness. It honestly boggles my mind how people maintain happiness without exercise. It is such a big part of my life and even if I am in the worst of moods it can change it. If I crank out my core exercises and then do my gawd awful run I come back and am in great spirits. If I miss a couple of days for some reason I can definitely tell a difference in my demeanor. I'm more agitated. I'm more irritated. I'm more...well...blah. I NEED my exercise like I need water, air and food. It is nourishment for not only my body but my spirit. It's amazing to me to think back to how I used to live my life. Macaroni and cheese was a regular occurrence because it was my comfort food. It made me feel temporarily better until the guilt and self loathing kicked in. I sometimes still have those 2 traits try to sneak back into my life but I just Zumba or pole dance them right back out. Just keep moving ladies...just keep moving.