What Was That?!

What a wild couple of days! We are down to an official count of 4 days and 2 hours until Boyfriend gets home. I couldn't be happier! In addition to that...I felt the baby move! Like real move. Like I had my hands resting gently on my belly as I laid down to nap on Sunday afternoon and BOOM. I felt something. I laid there stunned for a minute and then, again, BOOM! There it was was. My baby. Moving. So I could feel it on the outside instead of just the inside. It is the most amazing thing I have ever felt in my entire life. And then I cried. I cried for 2 reason. 2 very different reasons.

1. My baby moved and it was beautiful.

2. Boyfriend wasn't there to share it with me.

The second reason caused me to pause and really appreciate the fact that I get him home after only 2 weeks. You see...yesterday was Memorial Day. A day reserved to celebrate all of those who, past and present, have or are currently putting their lives on hold to stand up for my rights. Your rights. The rights of us Americans. These men and women have families who miss them very much and whom they miss. For months at a time. Sometimes longer. I can't imagine. Here I am feeling sorry for myself over 2 weeks. Not even a full 14 days. It seems too long for me. I can't imagine longer. Some men miss the entire pregnancy and birth of their child. God bless those women. Being pregnant is hard but being pregnant and alone is harder. I'm not that strong. Those women are my heros.

The baby, who we will soon know if it is a boy or a girl, hasn't stopped being active. In fact, last night I taught Zumba followed by a pole class. Zumba is really active and CRAZY while pole has a whole different feeling of serenity. The baby had a hard time adjusting. It went from partying with us in Zumba to going buck wild in my belly as I relaxed in my pole class. Crazy baby. I can't wait to meet him or her!

Bumpy!

I found the PERFECT material for the patio cushions! Well...actually SIL and I found it weeks ago but I didn't think much of it until I saw it again yesterday and...LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! I'm only going to use it for the front part of the back cushions which will be just the perfect pop of color. I haven't decided what color material to use for the rest of the material but that's okay. There's time. You wanna see it? 

Don't you absolutely heart it?! I do! The background color looks a little red in the picture but it is more of a burnt orange. It is going to be so wonderful once it is all done! Anywho...before we did a Joann's run my Mom and I did some preggo clothes shopping. It kinda blew me away when I put on some of the shirts because I looked so pregnant. I mean...I know I am but I'm finally starting to feel like it! I feel so good! Speaking of which, I took a picture of what my tummy looks like as I was watching a movie this afternoon. 

Isn't it hilarious?! I love, love, love my baby bump! 

Personal Responsibility?

A sad thing happened while doing an internet search last night. I googled "maintaining a good relationship while pregnant" and I got a whole mess of links...hardly any of which were actually what I was looking for. They were mostly about sex during pregnancy, how my spouse needs to be more supportive of me or what to do if your man leaves you/your relationship ends. I couldn't even find anything on the pregnancy website I belong to. Everything was about how the man is so unsupportive, doesn't do anything to help, etc. I get it. Pregnancy is hard. Believe me...I know but there are two people involved. I was a wreck last week...a giant wreck. I was upset about a whole slew of things that I inflated to the point of working myself into a frenzy of hurt and frustration. The problem was there were a lot of "I" sentences. I forgot about him minus the blaming him/being angry at him part. I'm not saying there weren't things we needed to talk about and address but I am saying that he is just as important as me. When did the pregnant gal take precedent over the partner? When did I become more important? I get it. I'm pregnant. How can I be more conscious of my mood swings/depression?

The other day I was teased a little bit about missing Boyfriend so much and it only being a couple days. Don't worry...I would have teased me too. The thing is, it isn't necessarily about missing him as it is that what I am feeling is more than I really talk about. I have hit this huge hurdle that I have read quite a bit about but there isn't a lot written about coping with it. I'm starting to freak out. Apparently it's normal but how do I get through it?

The questions are flying through me at lightning speed and I can't keep up. Will I be a good mom? Will my baby be healthy? What if my baby isn't healthy? What if I miscarry? Will we make it financially? What if Boyfriend and I don't take care of each other and we "grow apart"? The last part is the part I'm the most concerned about. I see so many relationships fail. I had one fail. I often watch people that have been married for a long time and see the lack of luster in their relationships. Life becomes a giant to-do list. The relationship becomes second to everything. I talk to many different people, mainly women, on a regular basis and the story is so much the same. Especially with people who's kids are grown or almost grown...they don't know their spouse anymore. Of course, that is if their relationship even survived that long. I don't want that. Boyfriend and I are together for a reason. Our baby is being brought into this world due to our love for each other. That means it is the product of our love...not the cause for it.

The best advice I've received so far is from my sister. We hung out for a while this morning and talked about all of this stuff. Her advice was that I need to just be honest with Boyfriend. If I'm having an unnecessarily emotional day I should be upfront with him and tell him that we should keep serious talks for another time...when I won't go psycho on him. She also said that I need to do a lot of self-evaluating and apologizing if need be. Well...all I can say to that is...many more apologies to come. I liked that mentality though. The whole actually being responsible for your pregnancy actions. I can't find much of it online. Sad.

Boyfriend and I also talked about it for a while tonight. I think he is worried about me. He told me to just relax and let things happen. Easier said than done. I'm not good at this relationship stuff. I've worked on a lot but I still have things that I need to work through. I think one of the biggest parts is I am stressed out. I need to find a healthy way to cut down on stress. I'm trying the first idea for stress relief tomorrow. I'm trying out a new yoga studio. It is a hot yoga studio but not exactly Bikram. It's related to Bikram but with other stuff, like music(!), mixed in. I'm actually pretty excited to try it out. I liked Bikram but my body responds to music and in Bikram all you can hear is the humming of the heater. Hard for me to focus. I'm buying the 2 week unlimited pass for now and will see how I feel at the end of it. What I'm thinking so far is that I'll take a yoga class at the studio once a week and then practice with this prenatal yoga DVD (I originally wrote tape but who even has those anymore and that's not even what it is...LOL) I got for home the rest of the days. Another things I'm terrified of is that I'll lose my flexibility with working at Express MiE less so that eases that stress at bit just right there. Hopefully one of the main side effects is that I'll be less stressed in my personal life and more easy to be around as pregnant gal. I think I'm also going to look into a healthy communications class. There has to be a better way of doing things then what I'm doing right now. There has to be.

An Open Letter to Brutus the Dog

Dear Brutus the Dog,

I get it. You are a studly, un-neutered, male dog who all of the ladies want but...enough with the pissing all over everything. Seriously. It's killing me. I wanted to start my refinishing my patio sanctuary chairs yesterday but they were COVERED in urine. It took me 30 minutes to clean just one of them off. You have a whole wall as well as a really great peeing tree for your manly use. Please please please leave my chairs alone.

Thanks and Love Ya,

Kathy

The doggies are being all weird and clingy with Boyfriend gone. Maddie always follows me around as it is but now Brutus and Angel are both tailing me everywhere. 3 large dogs following me everywhere. It's kinda cute and hard at the same time. They are quite the trail.

Aren't they the cutest?! They have been the biggest un-helpers possible but that's okay. These faces get them through anything. I've been needing to keep myself occupied since Boyfriend is gone so I've gotten a lot of projects started or partially worked on. First off, the before and after of one of the sanctuary chairs. I just need to finish one more chair and a coffee table.

Well, I need to finish the cushions for the chair too but those won't be broached until this weekend. I still need to decide whether I am going to wash and keep the same cushions or make all new cushions. The thing is...guess what else Brutus has peed on? Oh well...the next project is the dresser. I've cleared all of the drawers, taken the handles off and am planning on polishing them tonight. I need to polish them in the open air cause that stuff STINKS! 

I can't WAIT to get started refinishing it but I've decided that I may refinish something else first. I have a couple of cabinets to refinish for the end tables as well as a glider seat. I'm probably going to start with the glider since we technically didn't buy it. It was left by the last tenants. Who knows. The cushion is crappy so I'm just going to trash it and buy or make a new one.

I forgot to show you my helpers when I was taking apart the dresser. They were literally sitting right next to me while I was taking the dresser apart. I couldn't move without one of them needing to get out of my way.

Oh and in case you are curious here are before pictures of the sanctuary space. I repotted a couple of plants yesterday and the rose bush was an awesome gift from SIL. I'm pretty stoked about how it is all shaping up.

The last tenants also left a poor, dead plant that I'm going to empty the pot, refinish it, and plant some new plants I just got. I just haven't decided what color I'm going to paint it. I may wait until I decide on the material for the cushions before I paint anything but we'll see. I may get a wild hair and just do it. Who knows.

The best part of the sanctuary is the view from the bed. You can see the mountains. It's amazing! I want to make sure I don't cover the view. I'll probably end up getting a couple of hanging plants and also hang my wind chimes but other then that I'm going to leave it everything else below the fence line. 

Isn't that freaking sweet?! I love this house. It will be hard to give up when we eventually move but let's not think about that now. Let's focus on the here and now. Oh and here is a picture of the other really cool patio furniture that I'm going to finish but I haven't figured everything out yet and my box 'o' chemicals. Talked to the doctors office and as long as I stay covered I should be okay with the chemicals. I bought special gloves to protect me.

So Not Into This Headache Thing

I think my body has finally had enough. All of the stress I have been feeling for the last couple of months came crashing down on me yesterday. I got up at 5:00am to take Boyfriend to the airport and it is like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders on the drive home. Since I was running on minimal sleep I headed back to bed and slept until 10 when I awoke with a RAGING headache. I've never really gotten headaches before but they seem to be happening more and more frequently. Boo. I decided to go back to sleep and try to get rid of it. I should have just gone to church because when I woke up again I still had the headache and  it was still around when I headed to my folks place later that night. It finally subsided a little bit when I got home and started to get ready for bed. I decided that sleep is probably what my body needs to off to bed I went after talking to Boyfriend, of course. Asleep by 10:00 I woke up this morning at 7:00am feeling rested for the first time in ages as well as headache free! Yahoo! So far I have spent the morning puttering around getting odds and ends done like changing my address all over the place and doing a bit of grocery shopping. The house is eerily quiet. Boo.

As I was driving to work on Saturday morning I decided that enough was enough and it was time to cut my hair. I was too impatient to wait until I could get an appointment so I popped over to the salon right by the studio between classes and got it gone. The only frustrating thing is...well...she didn't cut it short. Don't get me wrong, it's cute just not short. She said I could come back and get it cut shorter for free if I wanted it shorted. I should have waited until I could get in with Sarah. She always does exactly what I want. Oh well...lesson learned. I'll try to post pictures later.

My family and friends are the greatest! I really thought I was going to miss all of the people who ditched me after I told them I was preggers but, in all reality, my life is much more fulfilling by spending time with those that really love and care about me whether they agree with my choices or not. I don't think about the other people at all really. That was a bit surprising. You don't know what you really got until all of the "filler" people go away and leave you with the spectacular people who have always been a part of your life but you didn't give enough time because you were too concerned with the fillers. I will take a smaller quantity of friends who are full of quality over all of the others. I. Am. Lucky. The reason I'm writing about all of this is with Boyfriend being gone everyone has made sure that I don't get lonely without him. He's my best friend and I miss him terribly but I'm not alone. I'm surrounded by these super amazing people. Hopefully these 2 weeks will fly by. Lots of projects will be completed and quality time spent but I'm kinda concerned about the nights. Every night before bed Boyfriend and I lay in bed and talk. Often times it is about nothing significant and we really just get a good laugh in before sleep. It was hard to fall asleep last night. Oh well...

Baby Bump Photos! 18 Weeks!

Here are the promised baby bump photos! It is so weird to see myself like this because I kinda look like the normal me except my tummy is big. I love my baby bump. I rub it all the time and the flutters are becoming more movement like. I think the baby straight kicked me last night because I was laying it bed and I felt a significant jab in my side. I loved it! I'll probably change my mind as time progresses but maybe not. 

It is nice to be somewhat enjoying my pregnancy now. I still have to take the medicine to not barf my guts out but for the most part I feel pretty good. Tiredness is still my constant companion but I think that is more due to sleeping terribly at night rather than pregnancy exhaustion. I've also gotten the added bonus of getting heartburn. I didn't know what it was at first and had to look it up to see what was wrong. Too bad for me I love BBQ and Mexican food and both of those seem to cause it pretty bad. I'll take that over throwing up though but I'd take all of it together it that is what it took to stay preggo. I love this baby so much and I haven't even met it yet. In fact, I don't even know whether it is a boy or a girl. It has no name but it means so much to me. Crazy feeling. 

Projects Galore!

I'm going to have 13 1/2 whole days to myself. I'm going to miss Boyfriend like crazy. Tonight we were looking at images of Birmingham, AL, where he is being stationed, and all I can say is....wow. So much destruction. Even though a couple of weeks have passed his company is still being slammed with claims. It is sure be an exhausting 2 weeks for him but the people of AL are lucky to have such a dedicated, caring guy on their side. I, on the other hand, will have plenty of time to get lots of stuff done. I say it like he has been holding me back, which he hasn't been, but I mean it like I have no excuse not to get stuff done. I have 4 major-ish projects I want to start and complete while he is away. The thing about these projects are they aren't going to take much time once I get going but it is the getting going part that is keeping me from getting anything done.

The first project is he has this FANTASTIC antique dresser that needs to be refinished SO BAD. Today I decided enough was enough and went and bought everything I need to complete it. There is a guy who works at the Home Depot right by the new house that is unbelievable. He helped SIL figure out what to use for one of her projects and gave me the information I need to complete another project I want to finish, refinishing the outside furniture, so I knew he was just the man to help me out. Boy was I right! Not only did he get me outfitted with every single item I need but he also helped me realize that I was way wrong about what stain my bed is. I thought is was a cherry finish when, in reality, it is a Red Mahogany. Who would have known?! Well...this guy would have but whatever. All in all if I do things right this whole project should take me about 4 or 5 hours. I could do that in one afternoon and still have 12 more for other things. I also am going to refinish a couple of night stands as well as spray paint some chairs for the upstairs patio. It is getting closer to being my outdoor oasis but still somewhat far away. I have a beautiful rose bush out there along with a couple of other plants so all I need is the furniture. Beyond spray painting the chairs I have to recover the cushion. The other cushions are a wreck. The dogs used them as their personal sitting areas. I kinda want to just throw them in the trash but Boyfriend seems to think we can salvage them. I may do some trashing while he is gone. I'm going to try to post pictures of everything tomorrow so you can have a visual of my 2 week to do list. Oh and don't worry...one of the main things I bought was a REALLY good air mask. This baby of mine will be well protected. Oh and pics of the baby bump will also come tomorrow.

Things That Are Dangerous

So....Boyfriend and I went on a walk last night that went from a nice stroll to an illegal walkabout. We have officially found a drawback to living in one of these "master planned" communities....they are like freaking self contained mazes that if you accidently enter unfamiliar territory you will have to scour your way out again like a man in the deep depths of the South American rainforest. We ended up walking for over an hour and only escaped the neighboring community by sliding through a fence with a menacing "NO TRESPASSING" sign with lots of lingo about $1,000 fines or six months in jail if we get caught. We skirted our way along some wash with deep tractor marks and only the moonlight to lead the way. I guess I should admit that the reason the situation started to get dire was because this pregnant gal had to pee so bad I could hardly think and I should also admit that it finally got to the point that I had to take care of things camping style. I know. Classy. A girls got to do what a girls got to do.

Anywho, the kicker to all of it was this treacherous path kicked us out on the road like a 1/4 mile from our house. Boyfriend summed it up best with the following comment, "I guess if you walk like 4 miles to the East and then walk down the wash a short ways you will end up right by the house. Not sure how that worked out." All that matters is we made it home...safe, sound and not in handcuffs.

I made an appointment for the anatomy ultrasound to find out both the sex of the baby and to make sure everything is in its proper place. I had to push it back a couple of weeks since Boyfriend is getting ready to be deployed....a week later than planned but he's still going. Sad. Not sure what I'm going to do without him for 2 whole weeks but I'll have to figure it out. At least we spent some time together in the new house so it actually feels like home instead of some strange new dwelling before he took off.

Sometimes It Happens

Do you ever have conversations with people that make you want to scream and punch things all at the same time? Yeah...

Skinny Patients

There is nothing in the entire world like a day of rest and that is just what boyfriend and I had today. We needed it in the worst kind of way. We were at that point where everything set us off and it was time to just do...nothing. Here is what our nothing consisted of today: sleeping in, relaxed breakfast, church, lunch, rode our bikes to the pool, 2 hour nap, dinner and now I'm writing this and boyfriend is working on the garage which is very relaxing to him...must be a boy thing. We made a vow to do stuff like this more often. It has been hard though with moving and then my youngest brother graduated college and moved to Utah for the summer this weekend. 3 hardworking weekends in a row was too much. Rest and sunshine were very welcome things today.

I am glad to note that my morning sickness is basically gone. Up until last night I had over a week of no episodes. That is a nice feeling and wonderful to write. I still have to take the medication but I can function! I am still sleeping a lot but hopefully that will subside as things move along or as my body catches up from the abuse it has been under the last several weeks. I'm not putting a time limit on when I think it should be done because I'll just end up disappointed if it doesn't. One day at a time is a good mantra for me these days. Whatever I need to do to keep this baby going is what I am going to do. Speaking of the baby...guess who actually has a REAL baby bump?! I do! You still can barely see it but it is getting more noticeable. I even took my belly button ring out because there was something that just didn't feel right about keeping it in while having a baby bump. My stomach now looks like it is missing something but I'm sure the growing tummy will take over.

Oh and along with a growing baby bump I have started feeling the baby a little! Isn't that awesome?! Well...minus the fact that I only feel it moving around while I'm trying to sleep. At first I was concerned that it just might be gas or something cause that's what all of the books say it could also be but when I was at the doctor the other day I asked her. I should probably set the story up that my younger sister was with me cause boyfriend had to work and I could tell the PA (which I much prefer over a DR) was a bit tired and quite funny with a self admitted sarcastic sense of humor. She had a giant list of questions for me and also informed me that my blood work came back 100% normal! Thyroid and all! Yahoo! No word on the breast ultrasound yet but she put a request into the company so hopefully I'll hear by early this week. Anywho, once she got done with her list of items she wanted to go over with me it was my turn for the question asking. When I asked her if it was normal to feel the baby this early the conversation went something like this:

Me: Is it normal to feel the baby this early because I'm pretty sure it was really active when I was trying to nap the other day? (I'm currently 17 weeks)

Her: It is either the baby or gas.

Me: That's what I thought.

Her: Though typically with my skinnier patients they tend to feel the baby sooner than other people.

Me: Am I in the category?

My Sister: Kathy...she's sarcastic...not mean.

Her: Yeah, if you were in the other category I would have just told you it was gas.

I guess I just don't feel like the skinny category, you know? My waist is thickening which, by the way, I'll past pictures of later this week once I hit the 18 week mark and I am finally starting to put on weight. Not a whole lot cause I'm just barely over what my starting weight was but I feel gynormous! I think it is compounded by how amazing boyfriend looks. My sister gave me a much needed lecture about it though as well as boyfriend did too. I kinda got stuck on how much work I have done the last couple of years and how I don't want to go backwards too far but the reality is...my body is making a baby. It's going to change. My body will never look the same after I have this baby and I am okay with that. Though my goal, when everything is said and done, is to be in even more excellent shape than when I started but that is down the road a ways. I still have a baby to grow, birth and then focus on breast feeding. Everything else will be thought about after that.

So...my new favorite subject to read about is parenting and, per the recommendation of a couple of people, I am enjoying the book called Baby Wise. It is absolutely fascinating! It talks about the differences between child-centered parenting and parent-centered parenting and wow oh wow! If more people put the principles presented in this book into practice we would have some much happier homes. I'm glad I got ahold of this now rather than after the fact. Oh and one major plus is the book talks about how if you do things right the baby will start sleeping through the night within the first 8 weeks of its life. I'm sorry....what?! And yes please. I can't wait to read more about it!

Stay tuned this week for a big post I have been planning for a couple of weeks now. It holds some pretty epic thoughts for my way of thinking as a whole.

The Move

I have so much to be thankful for! My family and friends are amazing! We are out of our old place and pretty set up in our new one. Everyone worked tirelessly on Saturday and some the few days leading up to Saturday. I was the most worried about the big stuff because I am now useless when it comes to that stuff since I can't carry over 25 pounds but my family saved the day! I am so grateful for everything that everyone did. Let's just say...I will be one gratefully busy lady writing thank you notes for everything single one of them.

It's crazy but I already feel like the new house is home. Maybe because Boyfriend and I moved into it at the same time and it isn't like I joined him after the fact? Who knows. The kitchen is almost completely done which makes me VERY happy and the pantry is going to be amazing. It's huge! My mind is in a tizzy with all of the possibilities coming our way!

So...Boyfriend got blood work not too long ago and was told he has high cholesterol. It told him that he needs to exercise more and lose the excess belly fat. It makes me laugh because to look at him he doesn't have either of those problems. He works out 4-5 times a week and is in fantastic shape. It must run in his family. Well...this means he either goes on medication or changes his diet to lower it naturally. He doesn't want to do the medication so we are changing what we eat. I say "we" because doing it as a team makes it easier to do it as a single. I'm excited to see what it does for him!

Phew!

I am constantly in awe of Boyfriend. He is the most amazing person I know. I am lucky to have snagged him! Our move is so close to being finished because of his hard work. Saturday we will be wrapping the rest of the big stuff up with the help of my wonderful family and after today and tomorrow everything that needs to be boxed should be boxed and over at the new house. I'm feeling good about how everything has gone. My body is tired and achy and still getting morning sickness but I am moving forward. Thank goodness for amazing family and friends that are helping us button the rest of everything up. Oh and praise God that Boyfriend has a huge work meeting at a resort the next couple of nights because we get to stay in a beautiful resort room instead of either of the wrecked houses. Speaking of which...I need to get my butt over there. I'll write more soon!

I Miss Him Too Much

This life thing is amazing. I finally got the chance to tell my brother, who now lives in China, that I am preggo. When I first told him he thought I was yanking his chain. I guess I have always had sarcastic humor and he knew that my chances of getting preggo were low to start with but after I bared my belly and told him the due date he was stunned first and then so happy for me. We chatted for only a little, not long enough, and then had to go. I cried. I always cry. I miss him so much. I think I made him a little teary eyed as well as my new SIL (NSIL) who was in the room with me. I can't help it. He's supposed to be here with us. Well...I guess supposed to isn't the right word but I want him here with us. I miss him so much. I was avoiding writing him cause I knew I would tell him via email if it took too long to talk to him so now I can finally write him without worrying. I think I am going to add him to my Sunday RRWW. Remember that? I haven't been the greatest with all parts of it but I am in a good habit of writing my thank you notes. I actually love doing it. I also have a cousin leaving for a mission to Africa soon that I am going to add to my Sunday writing list. When all of my brothers went on missions I did a terrible job keeping in touch and I know it gets hard for the boys being away from home for 2 whole years so I have decided to get better at writing. I probably won't know what to write at first. I think that is my problem...everything seems so trivial.

I have been feeling so disconnected from life lately. Kinda like I have been watching it on a movie screen. I feel less motivated. I feel less inspirational. I feel less...well...everything. I know this pregnancy has been really hard on me but at the same time I feel like I hardly know anything about anyone else anymore. Whenever I see anyone they always ask about the pregnancy so that it what we talk about and then I leave the conversation and realize that I know hardly anything about what is happening in their lives. I don't like that at all. Starting now I am going to make a huge effort to talk as little about myself as possible so I can get to know other people again. Everyone has stuff going on in their lives. Both good and bad stuff. Everyone needs to talk and share. I want to be the person they share it with.

Oh and as life would have it we need to move as fast as we can. Boyfriend works for an insurance company and with all of the devastation that hit in the midwest cause of the tornados he is going to be deployed to help with the insurance claims...for 2 weeks. Can you imagine that?! Ugh. He is going to have to drive to "house" after "house" and talk to people that lost everything. He has been on storm duty before and he talked about how awful it is to pull into a driveway that no longer has a house sitting at the end of it and to talk to people who just put tons of their belonging at the curb for trash pickup because it is all destroyed. He said they are often sitting in lawn chairs waiting for him with a beer in hand. He said most of the time they just laugh cause they don't know what else to do or say and sometimes they cry...because they just lost every single item in their possession. I don't think I could handle that for 1 day let alone 2 weeks. I couldn't imagine a better person for the job though. Boyfriend is the kind of person that just makes you feel better being around him. Even when people don't want to like him they end up liking him which happens quite often in the world he works in. Thank goodness for people like him. So moving day has been changed to this Saturday. We have already taken quite a bit over and more is going every night this week until it is all gone. I'm close to useless aside from packing. Thank goodness for my incredible friends and family. They are saving us once again. Oh and the house is beautiful. I finally saw it yesterday and it is going to be perfect for our needs for the next couple of years. Another giant thank you to my SIL for finding it and Boyfriend for pursuing it and getting us selected.