Body for Life

Last week was a crazy amazing time. I have a Thanksgiving post almost complete that should be up by tomorrow but I decided that I would focus on what is happening tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am changing my life. No longer am I eating or doing whatever I want. I really put some thought into this and decided that I need a path laid out for me. I got in the habit of doing what I want so I need a trail. I chose Body for Life for Women as my trail. It has a recommended workout as well as a recommended diet. Since I'm breastfeeding I'll need to consume more calories than the book recommends but other then that it's on. The training schedule looks pretty much like what I used to do so it should be like riding a bicycle...hopefully. I won't be counting when I teach as part of my workout. Those will be a bonus each week.

I have the added bonus of having a very motivated partner. J and I made a pact to swear of sweets (for the most part considering what time of year it is) as well as to work out together. I did draw the line that if I want to eat something not too great for me then he needs to just let me be. I don't want him to "police" me because then I will just end up resenting him. Having J as my accountability partner is pretty much the worst idea on the planet. Instead I will write here and keep a calendar documented with stickers on the days I work out and a journal tracking the food situation. That ALWAYS works for me because when I have to really want to eat something in order to be willing to write it down. I'm not expecting perfection. I will make mistakes. I will have rough days. I will keep going and day after day I will start fresh.

My measurements are the same but I will be taking a bikini photo tomorrow with a newspaper to commemorate the beginning. It seems to be the cliche thing to do when doing Body for Life. I can't wait to see what I can accomplish over the next couple of weeks and eventually 12 weeks.

On the business front I have SO much going on. When it comes to Mary Kay, I have 2 new team members and my director challenged me to practice, practice, practice. Specifically she challenged me do 30 faces in 30 days. What that means is getting together with a bunch of women that I trust to practice presenting the product. I've used the product for years and know that it works but it makes me so self conscious to share it. I don't want people to feel like I am selling them. I believe in the product and know that it works. I want to share the with other people. Hopefully I can get 30 friends to agree to help me.

Last week I also started and almost finished another business idea that I will hopefully get to show you tomorrow. It should be pretty awesome as well as fun. Plus I have something else up my sleeve but it is several weeks away from being revealed. It was such a crazy, inspirational, amazing week. I can't wait to write more about it. I didn't get much done on the home front so the plan this week is to merge the two types of weeks. Motivational business plus motivation home makes for a great combination. JD needs a more rounded Mom. Everyday I will try to get closer to that. Again, some days or even weeks, I may not succeed but I still have to try.

Diaper Bags and Briefcases

I had one of those experiences recently that kinda slaps you in the face about what you should be doing with yourself. I've been praying for a while now on what to do "for a living". I was originally going to have more going on at the dance studio but due to some changes made to the formatting I won't be teaching as much as originally thought. That left a little financial hole in our pocket. What to do? What to do?

God has let me know on several occasions that it is time to make it happen. He's given me so many clues. I decided to start listening to them. I've been playing around with the whole Mary Kay thing for a long time now. I spoke with my Mary Kay director, Terri Beckstead, for almost a half hour the other night and she told me to not make plans. She said to just pretend like I am a new consultant and just see where things take me. A solid 2 months of really working is what I need. She did ask me what I envisioned and I couldn't come up with a solid idea. I just want something that allows me to still be a stay at home Mom and to have some extra income. She said that when she started over 19 years ago. She said that she wanted a diaper bag on one arm and a briefcase on the other. I loved the image that created in my mind. That's exactly what I want. My family is first. Always. I created a Facebook page and I would love it if you were to like it. That's my starting point. I'm scheduled to talk to my director again early next week to get a plan set out. Can't wait!

JD must be going through a growth spurt because he has been sleeping the day away. I'm not complaining though. It got a ton done as well as a nice long over 2 hour nap with him. The house looks awesome and I feel awesome. Best. Day. So. Far.

Tuesday Chores

Wednesday Chores

Thursday Chores 

Make Doctors Appointment for My Toe 

Find Meal Plan to FollowNap and Cuddle with JD 

Write 5 Thank You Notes 

Write Personal Blog 

Write Family Blog 

Nap and Cuddle with JD 

Make Gifts for My SIL Baby Shower

Put Together My Task Board

Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 5 

Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan

Nap and Cuddle with JD 

Put Guest Room Back Together 

Clean Out Car 

Mail 3 Items at Post Office 

Buy the Rest of My SIL Baby Shower Gift

Tomorrow should bring a much more relaxed day. Step 5 of the Paper Plan was really easy. It took me maybe 5 minutes and I didn't through out that much more. Glad I went through it again though.

Doctor's Appointment for Toe
Doctor's Appointment for JD's weight check
Put Together My Task Board
Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan
Nap and Cuddle with JD
Make Homemade Pizza for Dinner
Write 5 Thank You Notes
Write Items Needed to Make all Christmas Gifts
Nap and Cuddle with JD
Add 10 More Addresses to Christmas Mailing List
Friday Chores

Going to be a great day!

Zuuuuuuumba and Confessions of a New Mommy Part II

Last night I taught my first Zumba class since having JD. It was beyond super amazingly awesome. There room was close to packed and my Mom was there. Not a bad welcome back if I must say so myself. A couple of things kinda surprised me about the whole experience.

1. I missed teaching Zumba way more than I thought I would. I was on cloud nine when I got home. That main thing I missed was the girls who take the class. They gave me the  most warmest welcome back ever! 

2. I made it through the whole class and am not actually as sore as I thought I would be. 

3. There is this thing that happens to a woman's body after having a baby. It doesn't quite work like it used to. For example, sometimes when you jump or lunge a little bit of pee escapes. Yes. Your read that right. Pee. It happened to me about halfway through the class and thank goodness the pants I was wearing disguised it though I couldn't stop thinking about what was happening. Upon talking to someone after class I was assured that it was normal but still. I felt like I was 5. 

Aside from being completely self conscious about item number 3 from above it was a perfect night. It felt so good to REALLY work out again. I forgot about all of the good hormones that get rushed around your body leaving you with a feeling of complete optimism coursing through your veins. I'm already looking forward to my Saturday class. I also can't wait until after next week because then I get to be as active as I want. I promised myself that even though I am teaching Zumba 3 1/2 weeks after having JD that I wouldn't push it and do anything else until the obligatory 6 week window had passed. I teach 2 Zumba classes this week and then due to the holiday I don't teach any next week. The week after that is week 6. I think I may make one of those paper chain things that school classes often use to count down until Christmas break. If I end up doing that then I will post picture for sure.

I didn't finish designing what I want my future days to look like so that post isn't happening quite yet. I have done a rough draft with some revisions. I may post it later today or, if I'm not quite done with it yet, I may wait. Only time will tell. Yesterday was awesome though I didn't get a lot done. A lot of the stuff I did ended up being quite time consuming and JD and I took a blissful 90 minute nap.

Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 5 (stationary)
Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Download Zumba Soundtrack (stationary)
Teach Zumba (on my feet hardcore for 45 minutes)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Clean Studio (on my feet 2 hours)
Laser Appointment (stationary)
Tuesday and Wednesday Chores (40 minutes)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Make Doctor Appointment for My Foot (stationary)
Drop off Baby Gift for a Friend (semi-stationary)

The good thing is that today I don't have to go anywhere or do anything outside of the house. I'll post my list later. For now, I am done pumping and ready to sleep. Oh and side note for any breastfeeding ladies out there. If I drink Powerade or Gatorade I produce 3 or more ounces than usual. For example, I just pumped 8 ounces. Yeah baby! 

Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 4

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 1
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 2
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 3 

Step 4 of the plan doesn't really have a whole lot of explanation or a picture to go with it. I dropping off all of my items to be shredded. That's it. 

Yesterday was such a great day! I didn't get my whole list done and I am absolutely positively okay with that. I got some really solid Mommy time in. I also finally got my applesauce finished which made me feel like a hundred bucks. SIL came over and we worked on it together. It's amazing how teaming up with someone can motivate you so much and make work not really feel like work. We chatted and peeled. It was fun. That's how it should be. Anywho, here are my list results. 

Make Apple Sauce (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Send a Bunch of Overdue Emails (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 4 (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 5 (stationary)
Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan (stationary)
Weigh Jackson to Make Sure He is Gaining Weight (relatively stationary) - Appointment Friday
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Make 2 Doctors Appointments (stationary)
Write a Draft for my Budget (stationary)
Tuesday Chores (on my feet for 20 minutes)
Write 5 Thank You Notes (stationary)

Not bad, huh? Today is going to be a bit different. I have a bit of a more active day so I am going to limit how much I do beyond the more active items. Lots of cuddling and napping to be sure! 

Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 5 (stationary)
Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Tuesday Chores (on my feet for 20 minutes)

Download Zumba Soundtrack (stationary)

Teach Zumba (on my feet hardcore for 45 minutes)

Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)

Clean Studio (on my feet 2 hours)

Laser Appointment (stationary)

Tuesday and Wednesday Clean (40 minutes)

Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)

Make Doctor Appointment for My Foot (stationary)

Drop off Baby Gift for a Friend (semi-stationary)

Hopefully I will have a much more fun post tonight. I'll talk about something really interesting and inspiring like goals of what I want my days to look like. I need to create a routine but I don't want to try to do it all at once because that leads to disaster and failure so instead I'm going to write out my ENTIRE completed goal and then choose one thing at a time to master. It will be stuff like stretch every morning, jog 1 mile everyday or whatever else I decide on. Obviously things like jog a mile everyday will need to wait until I get a good jogging stroller and JD gets a little older but stretching is definitely something that I would benefit from now. Although I think I need to find a video to follow so I'm not responsible for it completely. Nothing like a good ole' fashion dose of outside help. 

Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 3 and Update Photos

The progress pictures are up: My New Starting Point
I feel like I look awful. J assured me that I don't. I wish I saw myself through his eyes.

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 1
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 2

Holy cow! Step 3 of the Paperwork Plan is complete and I can't believe how much I have gotten rid of already! It will be fascinating to see how much more goes after the second dump. I also did a little of what I wasn't supposed to and kept some of the stuff out that needed to be done...like yesterday. At least I actually did them though. It only took me like 5 minutes and the relief I felt from completing it all was HUGE! This begs the question as to why it has taken me so long to commit to getting this done. Oh well...

Before I went through the files

After I went through the files

The TRASH box

Exciting, huh? I can't wait to trash more stuff.

I've done a good job getting my list done today. I think the key was arranging to work on stationary projects. It also helped that JD napped really good for 2 hours. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you work like a tornado for the gift of time you've been given.

Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 3 (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Monday Chores (on my feet for 20 minutes)
Make Apple Sauce (stationary)
Finish Laundry (mostly stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Take Pole Class (90 minutes but not all on my feet)
Teach Intro to Pole Class (90 minutes but not all on my feet)
Take Before Photos (mostly stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Blog Here (stationary)
Blog on Personal Blog (stationary)
Respond to Blog Comments (stationary)
Talk to Mary Kay Direction About New Recruit (stationary)
Start Homemade Recipe Book (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)

Seeing all of those items crossed off makes me feel so good. The rest are getting rolled over until tomorrow. Tomorrow is running a little bit lighter due to me not wanting to over do it.

Make Apple Sauce (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Send a Bunch of Overdue Emails (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 4 (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 5 (stationary)
Go Through Organization Book and Establish Phase 2 of the Paperwork Plan (stationary)
Weigh Jackson to Make Sure He is Gaining Weight (relatively stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Make 2 Doctors Appointments (stationary)
Write a Draft for my Budget (stationary)
Tuesday Chores (on my feet for 20 minutes)
Write 5 Thank You Notes (stationary)

Not a bad day planned and if, for some reason, I don't get any of it done aside from cuddling with JD then I'm okay with it. He'll only be this small once. 

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 2

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1
The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 1

I FINALLY got to work on my Paperwork Plan again! JD has been following somewhat of a schedule the last couple of days which has been soooooooooooooo nice. In addition, J took him to nap so I could have some ME time. Oh how I have missed it. This is what I did with it. 

Completed step 2 of the Paperwork Plan
Made pumpkin coffee cake (with homemade pumpkin puree)
Made banana muffins
Made sugar cookies
Did 2 loads of laundry
Gathered a bunch of other people's stuff to return at dinner
Pumped and blogged

Not bad, huh? I know I *should* have been sleeping with my almost 3 hours of freedom but I really wanted to bake so bake I did. It was nice. The recipes all turned out super yummy too. Always a bit of a crapshoot when trying something new. I will definitely make them again. The paperwork? Wow! It turned out to be so much less than I was expecting by the time I sorted everything out. See? 

Isn't that awesome?! It is way less than that I thought it was going to be. This step was super easy! I'm going to try to complete Step 3 tomorrow but then again it may not be in the stars like it wasn't last week.  I'm going to try to at least START it. 

I also thought you all may be interested in the whole meal planning solution that I came up with since I have struggled with it for ages. It can get to difficult to try to plan things out and actually stick with it. Before I had JD I pre-made a bunch of marinated meat packages that I froze so all we would have to do is defrost one, make a side and call it dinner. What a blessing those meals have become. They also all turned out extremely delicious. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. I decided to continue with that so I bought a bunch of meat. I mean like 15 pounds of chicken, 10 pounds of ground beef and 12 pounds of steak. I then added marinades and tossed them in the freezer. I took a picture of the garage fridge since that is where it is all being stored. 

The frozen side is almost 100% frozen meals and the fridge side has the apple sauce and jam that I made. Tomorrow I am hoping to make more apple sauce but we'll see how that goes. I also pre-bought some Martinelli's Sparkling Cider since that it my families holiday beverage of choice. 

Below is some sort of a wish list of things I want to complete tomorrow in no particular order.

Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 3 (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Monday Chores (on my feet for 20 minutes)
Make Apple Sauce (stationary)
Finish Laundry (mostly stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Put Together My Task Board (stationary)
Take Pole Class (90 minutes but not all on my feet)
Teach Intro to Pole Class (90 minutes but not all on my feet)
Take Before Photos (5 minutes)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)
Blog Here (stationary)
Blog on Personal Blog (stationary)
Respond to Blog Comments (stationary)
Talk to Mary Kay Direction About New Recruit (stationary)
Start Homemade Recipe Book (stationary)
Nap and Cuddle with JD (stationary)

Even if I only complete napping and cuddling with JD then I consider the day a success. 

But

I think the word but is a crappy word. It's generally the bridge between a compliment and a criticism or a goal and an excuse.

I like your hairstyle but the color isn't that flattering on you.
I really want to lose weight but I just don't have the time.

See what I mean? How many people actually remember the compliment at the beginning of the sentence? How hard is it to get past the excuse at the end of sentence? Especially when it is something that you repeat all the time. It's like you're constantly reinforcing your inability to do something instead of finding a solution for your problem.

Here's the deal. I am so guilty of over using the word but. I had no idea how much until it was overused on me. I mainly use it when talking to myself.

I want to get organized but I don't know how.
I want to get organized but there is so much. 

The problem really comes in when I use it with J or other people.

Thanks for doing the dishes but that knife is supposed to be only hand washed. 

How good is that going to make him feel? The thing is, the second part, the part following the but can be valid. Sometimes the words following the but need to be shared. I just need to learn how rephrase things so I can get the but out of there. I could have said something like this:

Wow! I really appreciate you doing the dishes! Could you do me a favor in the future and not put that knife in the dishwasher? It is prone to rusting. 

Obviously it takes longer to say the second one though I'm sure that is the one people would rather hear. At least I would. I really didn't understand the impact the word but can make on a person until I was almost but-ed to death. I didn't know one word could be used THAT much. Nothing that was said was necessarily bad. It was the accumulation of one but after the next all seeming to signify one shortcoming or another about me. My self esteem was in the toilet by the end of it. I know I let it get to me. I could have just blown it off. I wasn't that strong. I also don't want people to have to blow off something I say because I'm but-ing them.

Again, sometimes but isn't a bad word. Too bad, more often than not, it is.

My New Starting Point

I took my measurements today. Not because I'm actively trying to lose weight. I did it so I would have a solid starting point. This time I did more than just my hips. I wanted a more detailed tracking. Of course, how my clothes feel on me remains supreme. This is just a numerical tracking that has nothing to do with the scale. I still can't do the scale because I become number obsessed to the point of sacrificing the best for me for the best for the scale. I can't do that. Not this time. It has to be the same as my paper project. Slow. Steady. Deliberate. Calculated. Healthy. Permanent. Definitely Permanent.

The fortunate and unfortunate thing about it is this: once I delivered I lost most of the weight immediately. Even though I gained right at 30 pounds I'm only 7 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant. My stomach, aside from my skin needing to adjust back to normal, looks awesome! I say fortunately because I really expected to struggle with my weight afterwards. This is a true blessing and, in all honesty, I can't figure out how it happened. Considering my past struggles I had ramped up for a horrendous journey. Don't get me wrong...I know it is still going to take a lot of work but not nearly what I had prepared myself for. I guess it says something about my fitness classes because that is really all of the exercise I got while pregnant. I say unfortunately because I've been treated yucky by some people because "I've gotten off easy". Even complete strangers have remarked about how much I don't look like I just had a baby. People have been really rude. The people who I know that have made comments hurts the worst. I have to remind myself that it is their issue...not mine. Still feels shitty though.

Another one the fortunate things is I get to break out my pre-preggo clothes. I could have done it a couple of weeks ago but I haven't had the time. There are still some clothes I won't fit due to my hips being a little bigger but for the most part everything is fair game. Such a relief.

So without further ado...*drumroll please*...here are my measurements.

Hips: 42"
Waist (at bellybutton): 35.25"
Right Thigh: 21.5"
Right Calf: 15.25"
Right Bicep: 10.5"

There you have it folks. I didn't even waste my time with my bust because that is going to change constantly. It will depend on when I do it and whether or not I've breastfed recently. Also, I'l l take panel pictures tomorrow and add them to this post. I'll take new photos and measurements when I decide to actively get started on losing weight. Until then...

Family is Awesome!

Thank God I have an awesome support system or else I'd be a complete wreck. I mean a tragic over the top disaster. Yesterday was a terrible day in KathyandJDland. Lil' JD hadn't been sleeping well and had been super fussy. J was gone for the morning and JD finally calmed down a bit so I scooted over to SIL's place in the hopes that he would continue to be good. Instead by the time I drove the 5 minutes to her place both JD and I were a hot mess. Once inside I lost it. I was crying. He was crying. I was frustrated. He was exhausted. SIL reassured me that all of that was normal which calmed me down which, in turn, calmed him down to the point that he finally fell asleep. My brother got home a little later as JD was asleep in my arms. He instructed me to hand him over. I hesitated for a second but ultimately decided that we both needed a break. I sat talking to them for a bit when SIL told me to go lay down in the guest room. I did and completely conked out. I only slept for like an hour but it felt like 4. This parenting thing is nothing to sneeze at... My brother freaking rocks. We weren't close growing up but as adults I love and respect him more every time I talk or spend time with him.

Last night and today were so much better. We changed our bedtime routine and man 'o' man it made a huge difference. It's all about trial and error and realizing that something that works one day may not work the next. Sigh...

Flow Day

JD took priority today. I had a bunch of plans to get things done like working on my paperwork project, making apple sauce and reorganizing JD's clothes but none of that happened. Not one thing. Last night the lil' guy didn't sleep the best which lead to an amazing nap for him this morning while I cleaned the studio. We then made a quick stop to drop something off for my sister and ended up staying and talking for an hour. I needed it. Talking keeps me sane. We then did a bit of grocery shopping for items I didn't get yesterday and headed home. I made an executive decision that since I didn't sleep much last night either that I would nap with him. We laid down at 3 and he finally fell asleep at close to 4. We only napped for an hour when he normally naps for 3. Needless to say he was WAY over tired tonight and it took me forever to get him to calm down to sleep. He is now sleeping very soundly in my lap. I love watching him sleep. Anyway, my point to all of this is how important it is to allow for changes to be made. I could have gotten upset about what happened and been angry that my plans got derailed but what good would that have done. I still would have been in the same situation. Either angry about it or go with the flow. Today was a flow day. Tomorrow we will try it all again.

In yucky news, I lost my toe nail the other day and the new one is going INTO my toe. Damn. Gotta call the doctor tomorrow...

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1: Step 1

I am getting much better at finding more stationary things to do. I still have a couple of weeks until I am officially allowed to be active so I am trying to make the best out of it. Today I started on "Operation: Get My Paperwork Organized". If you read my blog post the other day then you know what I'm talking about. Since I'm doing this slow so I'll actually be successful I did just step 1.

Step 1: Gather all of your paperwork together. I mean all of it. Even the small stuff jammed in your night stand table and the junk drawer in the kitchen. EVERY last piece of paper in your house. (Mine is going to be GYNORMOUS!)

I pulled everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Every crack and crevice. All of it. There is a lot. More than I expected but then again I expected that there would be more than I expected so I guess I kinda expected it. Wow...too deep. Back to my point. I pulled it all. See?

That's a lot, huh? Glad I only had to deal with gathering it today. I wasn't in the mood for too much more than that. Did you guys get your paperwork gathered together? Tomorrow's task is pretty easy in the grand scheme of things.

Step 2: Sort all catalogs and magazines out of the stack(s).

I can totally handle that tomorrow. I also have one kinda physical activity tomorrow. It takes me about 2 hours and I'm hoping to get to it REALLY early. Like 6:00am-ish. The rest of the day I will be hanging out with the kiddo and hopefully going through all of his clothes again. He has already grown out of some of his clothes so I need to weed those items out and filter bigger stuff in.

Aside from gathering my paperwork today I got quite a bit of other stuff done. For example, I did my major monthly grocery shopping trip. While JD slept today I left him with J and got out and about. I scored some great deals and came home with a bunch of food. A lot of it was meat and I was able to do some sitting time and bag it all for the freezer. All of it except the chicken. I still need to figure out what marinades I'm going to pair it with. That I decided to leave for tomorrow. DELISH! That's another good stationary project. Oh and I also made 3 1/4 quarts of apple sauce. I'm going to finish the rest of it tomorrow (I have a half a case of fiji) too. In addition, I got a ton of laundry completed. I felt very accomplished today for a girl that isn't really moving.

I Needed to Hear That

I'm sitting on the couch holding my son listening to J talk to his Mom on the phone about me. He is saying the nicest things ever. I should record this conversation and listen to it when I have a tough day. Seriously. My self esteem has gone up about 100 points. He isn't always the best about voicing it to me but it is good to know what he thinks about me.

It's time to pray for patience again. Ugh. You know what happens when you do that, right? Lessons get dumped on you by the truck load. I guess I already have one major lesson sitting in my lap right now in the form of a newborn. He tests me every day. I don't care about the crying. What I struggle with is when he cries and I can't fix it. I just want to make it better but sometimes he just wants to cry. I also keep wanting him to go to sleep at 9:00pm when I am ready but that just isn't the case. He is wide freaking awake until 11:00ish. I just need to accept that he has a different schedule. It is going to take a while to get it worked around. I love this little baby.

I think I am eating WAY too much. I know I am breast feeding and all but I think I am back to emotional eating quite a bit. I know for a fact I did it on Thursday after JD got his circ but I think I am also eating from boredom as well as sadness from the baby blues. I know my eating is going to be a bit more than normal because a person who is breast feeding needs an extra 300-500 calories a day but I am eating more than that. I think I need to start really paying attention to when I am hungry and when I am just looking for something to do or feeling sorry for myself which, by the way, I am very good at. A couple more weeks until exercising can happen. The countdown has somewhat officially begun. I say somewhat because I am so ready to get back on the working out wagon and yet...that would mean that JD is already 6 weeks old. I start teaching Pole again tomorrow and Zumba at 4 weeks (2 weeks from now) but that is only twice a week. Ah! Patience! Damn it. You are going to be one of my greatest opponents of all. CURSES!

The Paperwork Plan: Phase 1

Here's the deal. I had a couple of people comment on my last post when I talked about getting my paperwork in order saying they were interested in how it goes as well as a couple of people in person so...I propose we make it a group effort. You with me? I would love a couple of people to join me on what I think is going to be an incredibly hard journey but maybe...just maybe...with enough people cheering each other on we make this an incredible amazing phenomenal experience of habit breaking fun. What do you say? Oh...maybe I should explain how the process is going to work a little bit so you know what you are getting yourself into. First off, I plan on making this a slow deliberate process not one of those quick fix things because quick fixes never REALLY work. Maybe in the short term but long term they have a tendency to fall apart.

Step 1: Gather all of your paperwork together. I mean all of it. Even the small stuff jammed in your night stand table and the junk drawer in the kitchen. EVERY last piece of paper in your house. (Mine is going to be GYNORMOUS!)  

Step 2: Sort all catalogs and magazines out of the stack(s). 

Step 3: Go through the pile(s) and sort everything between KEEP and TRASH. Don't make any mini piles. Just KEEP and TRASH. If you want to make a lot of progress quick turn the stack over so you are starting with the older stuff first because older stuff is often easier to part with then newer stuff. The attachment usually isn't as strong.  

Step 4: Throw all papers put in the TRASH pile in the trash. You may want to shred the documents since some of the papers probably have personal information on them. If you don't have a shredder you can take it to a local shred facility and get it shredded for a minimal amount of money or you may want to invest in a shredder for future sorting/filing/trashing.  

Step 5: After waiting 24 hours go through the KEEP pile again and see if there are any papers that upon a second review you have decided that you actually don't want to keep thereby making a new TRASH pile. Dispose of those papers after the second pass is complete. 

That's as far as I have gotten as far as the plan goes. If I start on Tuesday this will carry me through the weekend and I plan on taking the weekend off so there you have it folks. The beginning plan. Does that seem a bit more doable? Slow and easy wins the race, right? This is my version of slow and easy.

It's Not Personal

I need some projects that are more stationary. For real. This active body of mine is having a hard time adjusting to not doing a whole lot. I need to just relax but that is so much easier said than done. All that being said, I have decided that it is time to tackle my perpetual disorganization when it comes to paperwork. I have tried and tried and tried in the past to get a handle on this but so far it hasn't worked. This time it needs to work. I need to get better about this before JD gets too much older and we start getting more and more paperwork that comes into the house from school or other things. Plus it is just plain time to break this bad habit of mine. I found a really awesome book that has some great tips on getting more organized. One chapter is specifically dedicated to just getting your paperwork in line. I think I am going to tackle that on Tuesday. Why the wait? J's sister gets here tomorrow and we get to spend the whole weekend with her and then Monday has a bit going on so Tuesday is the first day I could actually focus on it.

Here is the picture of myself I promised. It was one taken 4 days post baby aaaaaaaaaaaand...it has J in it. Are you all so ready to meet him? It has been over a year aaaaaaaand we are engaged aaaaaaaaand we do have a beautiful baby boy together so without further ado...

It is still so weird to see myself without my big ole' preggo belly and sometimes *eek* I actually miss it. I probably miss feeling him move more than anything. I know I have him physically here and what could be better than that but still. I miss it. I miss having him all to myself. I miss knowing that as long as I am safe then he is safe. I love that I get to look at him. I love that I get to watch him. I love that I get to give him kisses. I love what he has done for my relationship with J. I love everything about him. Anywho...no working out for a couple more weeks but then it is on like donkey kong. This blog is going to be a Kathy getting healthy again machine! Until then...I get to just be with my baby.

Speaking of my baby boy, on Tuesday he had a really really bad day. He cried a lot. I mean A LOT a lot. He wouldn't settle down. It broke my heart and I had a hard time not taking it personally. It is so easy to take him being upset personally. Thank goodness I was at SIL's and she gave me some good advice. I needed to hear it. This Mommy business is hard.

Confessions of a New Mommy Part 1

Well...I should have heeded the advice that I got from yesterdays blog post. Doing too much too soon equals a little too much bleeding for my comfort so today I am backing things off a bit. I also needed to adjust the routine to allow for a better flow. Let's just say I was freaking starving by the time I got to eating and didn't do my chores until the afternoon. This is what today is going to look like.

Wake up whenever JD gets up (it was 7:30am)
Feed him and let him slip back into his deep comma like sleep
Shower
Get dressed including doing my hair and makeup (I only got as far as mascara and I'm okay with that)
Do a load of laundry
Eat and make J eat
Blog
Pump
Take JD for a walk to hang out with SIL
Come home whenever
Make dinner (pot pie)
Eat dinner
Clean up dinner
Go on a walk with my other SIL and JD
Shower
Spend the rest of the night hanging out with J and JD being an awesome family

That looks much better for a girl who had a baby a week and 2 days ago, right? Right. Oh and last night...I got some good freaking sleep. I nursed JD, handed him over to J, who was watching a TV show I'm not fond of, and I headed up to bed. That is the first time I was able to sleep completely uninterrupted since before JD was born. It isn't because JD is fussy all the time. In fact, it is quite the opposite. He sleeps in pretty solid 3-4 hour increments. It is because I wake up to check to make sure he is still breathing. Isn't that morbid? From what I've heard it is pretty normal but it still makes me feel like a super crazy Mommy. Anywho, back to my point, I was able to sleep sound because I knew J was taking care of him. He's such a good Dad. It is also helping to pump a bottle before bed that J can give to JD for one of his in the middle of the night feedings. JD seems to treat me as more of a pacifier at night rather than a food source but the bottle he absolutely throws down and falls fast asleep in a matter of 10 or so minutes. It's so much fun learning what works and what definitely doesn't work for him. Like, for example, he gets REALLY gassy. If you keep him on his back he cries and cries and cries but if you switch him to his tummy and rub his back counter clockwise he lets it rip old man style. It's so loud! His cry because he is hungry is different from his gassy cry which is different from his there's light in my eyes cry. J is much better at reading him than I am but I am learning. They are both so spectacular. I also always head downstairs for the last feeding and sleep the rest of the night there to allow for J to get some good uninterrupted sleep. He needs some of that too plus it allows me to lay on the couch in a way that I can't move around and hold JD until we both wake up. It is a pretty special feeling.

When I was pregnant with JD it reached a point where I stopped worrying about what I should and shouldn't do in regards to eating and just ate what I could keep down. That included lots of quesadillas and Diet Caffeine Free Coke. You know what that produces? A 9 pound 6 ounce baby. Anyway, now that JD is out and I have no restrictions as far as eating goes (I am still avoiding Red 40 but that is for another blog post) I am much more conscious about what I put in my body. I haven't had soda in over 3 days and my meals have been much more healthy. J and I are starting to establish our routines together. It is pretty fun. It is like we were meant to have a family. It makes us better together. I thought we might fight a lot since we would both be sleep deprived but so far that isn't that case. Fingers crossed that that continues.

Mommy Confessions:

Last Saturday night we headed out to the store and then my brother's place. I forgot the diaper bag. I felt like the worst Mommy ever. Good thing we were stopping by the store to get diapers and wipes or else we would have had to come all the way home again. 

I bought reusable nursing pads. Very ecoconscious of me except I put them in backwards so the leak guard was against me instead of away from me. I leaked EVERYWHERE. Awesome. 

Special Note: Tomorrow I am going to post pictures of me.